Editorial Ass

Mystery/Crime/Thriller Must-Reads--help me make a list, please!

2011-08-26T11:32:00.003-04:00

Hello, reader friends.

(Because I don't have enough reading projects already...)

I want to be a more well-rounded mystery/crime/thriller reader, and to that end have decided to put together a must-read list of 100 must-read titles. I'm looking for books that are the backbone of this genre: probably classics and modern classics, formative titles, and/or huge and important bestsellers that have changed or evolved the genre when they were published.

Will you help me out by making suggestions for my list? My hope is to collate a list so that, if someone were to make their way through the whole thing, they could come to the end and say, "Why yes, I AM well-read in that genre!"

Your help is much appreciated :) I'd love to hear your title/author suggestions, and, if you can be persuaded to share, a little about why you suggest that title/author.

Thank you!

humorous things that happened this week

2011-03-05T20:47:00.004-05:00

Since I have ascertained there are still people who stop by these parts, I can't resist sharing these stories. I feel like you guys would appreciate them. They shouldn't go to waste.

Story 1

On Monday or maybe Tuesday, a delivery guy came who was from neither FeEx nor UPS. Everyone in the office (which is small and open; your business is my business) flocked around the reception desk to see what was in the GIANT box the mysterious delivery guy had brought.

Guess who it was for? Well, obviously me, or I probably wouldn't find this story as hilarious. I asked the guy who it was from. "Maybe the card will say," he said cryptically.

So I signed, the guy left, and we all looked at the box, which was the size of a mini fridge. A large one. Or maybe a small dishwasher. No, I was not expecting a package. No, I did not have another Amazon binge. No, I wasn't in denial again. No, I couldn't think of anyone who would have a reason to send me a bomb, a severed body part, or a diseased monkey (we've all been reading a lot of thrillers lately).

It turned out to be an Edible Arrangement, and a VERY large and chocolatey one. At first I didn't recognize the name on the card, but the message revealed it was from an author I had rejected. (Yes, you read that correctly.) Apparently my rejection had totally changed her life and helped her get herself on the right path. This made me happy, and taught me a valuable lesson: reject people more often. (And no, the arrangement wasn't poisoned; I live to tell. As does everyone else in the office, those grubbing vultures.)

Story 2

Toward the end of the week, maybe Thursday, I had an email from someone whose name I didn't recognize and whose subject line made me think it was an unsolicited query. I admit I don't love getting unsolicited queries from unagented authors; my press has a firm and easy-to-find policy about the correct way to submit to us, and it sometimes irritates me when people go around this process.

So I opened the letter, prepared to be irritated, and read savagely through to the third paragraph of introductions and reminding us how we were connected to each other (apparently we had met at an event many months ago and I had been very "charming") before I realized there was no manuscript pitch. Only the author pitch. Although there was no mention that the man was an author, only an invitation to dinner or a concert. Oh. I was being asked out.

This is an ABSOLUTE FIRST for me. There was that one time that I went on a business lunch date and apparently the person I was meeting took the "date" part of it more seriously than the "business," but that was only once. But this was proper, courtly, old-fashioned asking out. How he could remember me, I'm not sure, since I only vaguely remember even being at the extremely crowded event he referenced. But hey. The email was complete with delicate flattery and a catalog of all the possible things we could do if I would meet with him.

I wish I could post the whole thing here, it was so amazing. But that would be infringement of copyright (impromptu copyright lesson: the copyright holder of a letter is the person who wrote the letter, not the person to whom the letter was addressed, nor the person in physical possession of the letter).

If he is reading this now, I will be very embarrassed, but I'm just going to have to take that chance. It's too special not to share.

***ETA*** I guess I wasn't clear when I posted this--NO, I will NOT be going on a date with the gentleman in question. I do have a Rally Monkey of many years who would be most put out if I did :)

just curious

2011-02-25T13:22:00.001-05:00

Does anyone still check in here?

Six months later and I still miss blogging...

Confession

2010-09-15T07:11:00.004-04:00

The RM has just started a new job--he has been trying to switch careers, going from being an auto mechanic to an elementary school teacher--and teaching the 4th grade involves being out of the house by 6:45, which involves getting up at 5:30 (he's a primper). Getting up this early means morning jogging has fallen by the wayside. But today he dragged me out of bed at 5:20 so we could do the two-mile loop we used to.

Let me tell you, this running-in-the-dark proposal did not thrill me. But I'm glad I got my begrudging heinie in gear. (Yes, btw, I checked, and that's how heinie is spelled. Who knew?) For once, the busy streets in my part of town were almost completely empty, and on our home stretch we got to watch the sun rise over the Bronx.

While I was jogging quietly, I finally thought of what I wanted to say here. I've been procrastinating about posting, because it's hard to undertake a big decision. But I haven't really been fair to the friends who come here looking for me. Thanks to everyone who's sent notes asking if I was ok--I'm perfectly ok, in fact, the best ever. I've just been stalling, and I apologize for making people worry.

The short story, where this post is going, is that I have decided to stop posting here at EdAss. There are a variety of reasons--the biggest one is that I don't really have anything fresh to say anymore. I find increasingly people ask questions, and my answer is some variation on, "Well, let me refer you back to July 2007 [or whenever]..." Sure, the industry has changed, and I've sure as heck changed over the four years I've been blogging, but somehow most of the things I said I still agree with. Fancy that.

Another reason is time--sure, I've always been busy, but suddenly it seems like it's costing me a lot more energy to maintain an anonymous advice blog than it used to. I find that everything I want to write about lately is, well, personal, and not of relevance here. I don't want people's opinions of my personal life choices to affect the perceived quality of the publishing information I have here, you know? So it seems like maybe the best thing to do is make a clean break--leave the publishing stuff here, in hopes that it will someday aid others. (I'm already blogging at a completely unrelated and unlinked place, a place that will never be linked here, so if you're one of the folks who comes here less for publishing and more for insane gossip and are interested in knowing that address, shoot me an email.)

But before I close up shop, I do want to come clean about something. As you might know if you've been reading for a while, I started EdAss as an outlet for my frustrations with the publishing industry. I knew I would always read books and love reading books, but there was a lot not to love about the machine that produces books. In the beginning, my only desire was to air my grievances, but over time, as I joined a community of bloggers interested in publishing, it seemed like maybe I could be more proactive than just complainy--maybe my opinion could help other people. And so the content evolved.

What I got out of the blog, though, didn't change much. I came here to post when I was frustrated and had no where else to go, because when I came here there was a dynamic forum of people who were willing to trade opinions--something one unfortunately cannot count on in real life. There were some really rough times, but when I posted here, you guys made me feel like the time I put in was worthwhile.

The truth is, not all of the four years I've been blogging here have been easy. I'm a person who takes my job very seriously, and professional successes and failures become very, very personal for me--I like to think I'm the kind of editor an author would hope to work with for that reason--so when things weren't going well, I was pretty deeply affected. During the two years of ups and downs, I tried to leave my identity out of my content. "Characters" are composites, stories amalgamations, time lines very heavily fudged (I would frequently write a post but not have it post for weeks or even months to help keep fictional distance). I used fictional characters to help me obscure the more difficult things that happened. So I hope that not too much of this all came through. My intention was not to reveal my problems to readers; I didn't see how that would help me or them.

At one point, it became clear that my company was probably going to downsize me, and then I waited for months for the axe to drop. I don't want to put too fine a point on it, but along the way I saw some truths about how things work that I still wish I didn't have to know about. I eventually found myself out of work during the worst moment of economic crisis, when everyone was paring down editors, and I admit I fully expected I would not work in the industry again.

In the worst moments, when I wasn't sure if I was an editor anymore, I wondered if it was unethical for me to keep my blog. But friends assured me that my having been laid off wasn't a reflection of my understanding of the industry, and didn't make my advice less sound. So I kept the blog as I looked for work, temped, ghostwrote, freelanced, considered other industries, etc. You guys were a huge piece of my social life when I was trying to collect my thoughts and decide what my place in the industry was. I can't really exaggerate how much I appreciate the world we had here, or how much good it did me.

I learned a lot from that hardship, though. Most importantly, I learned what made this job worthwhile to me, and why I still wanted to try to work in this industry: the authors. I think other people probably say "the books" instead, but for me there will always be books, regardless. The difference is when you work in publishing, you can be a midwife to an artist, nurture a career, make a huge difference in a life. The chance to be the caring professional who makes a difference, who helps an artist create a piece of art, is huge. Because authors really, really care, and their books are precious to them. I love talking to authors, learning from them, spending time with them. It's like having an amazing collection of experts in every conceivable topic within arm's reach at all times. At the end of the day, despite it all, I wanted to go back to them. I still thought it mattered, and was worthwhile.

I'm sharing this story of my layoff now, after hiding it for so long, because at the end of the day it is a hopeful story. (Someone wanna count how many times I used the word "hope" in this? Talk about needing an editor!) I hope that its hopefulness might help some people who've read it. I feel like I can safely say I have had every possible reason for giving up already, but I haven't given up. I still want to be a part of this. Now maybe that makes me stupid. But it doesn't make me the first person to get stupid because they fell in love with an art.

In the end, I was lucky enough to find another job--and a much better job than any I'd ever had before. I am well out of the honeymoon period now, and yet I still love my company and current job to death. I'm not really sure what I did to deserve this kind of luck, but I will say that it was people I'd met blogging here (three of them in particular) who got my foot in the door. I know I can't ever thank them enough, but I hope I have at least thanked them enough that they know who they are. And I owe thanks to everyone else who has been part of this community, too. Even if they didn't help me quite as directly, they contributed to my confidence, my sense of commitment, and my desire to be the best I could. So thank YOU.

It is a sad net-net to arrive at, but the honest truth is that blogging has filled its function and run its course for me. It got me an awesome job. It offered me a place to vent when no one else would listen. But the thing is, I just don't need it anymore. I have no need to vent; now, if I have an opinion, I just go tell my boss, who is always interested.

So, selfishly, I am closing EdAss. I will leave it online, in hopes it will continue to help people looking for guidance on various things, but I won't be posting anything new. I'll keep my Facebook and Twitter accounts, and I hope the many people I've come to think of as friends will keep in touch. This blog and the people who've made it interesting have been a huge part of my life, a source of great pleasure and much education. I hope other people feel the same, and aren't too sad that I don't have anything else left to say. I sure am going to miss it.

Thank you. For everything.

sorry, guys.

2010-08-11T14:44:00.001-04:00

Meant to post. Too much going on. One more wedding and we're over the hump.

Ttys. xxx

Moonrat's Rundown of Publishing Options

2010-08-04T12:47:00.002-04:00

The other day, I received a sad email from a reader who has decided to go the route of self-publishing. This person wanted to know why I--and others in New York publishing--had so little respect for people who chose to self-publish.

When I got this note, I realized we had some clearing up to do. I haven't talked about self-publishing much here lately, so perhaps that is the origin of the confusion, but I personally have nothing against people who self-publish, nor against the self-pub industry. In fact--if you can keep a secret--I freelanced for a large self-pub company for a long time, helping authors polish their books, etc. I know a lot about who chooses to self-publish, why, and what advantages and disadvantages they have. I also know the huge amount of work they undertake. But certainly I respect their choice, and respect the people who make that choice.

But publication is a choice--if you're in the throes of the submission process, this is sometimes hard to remember, but do remember you always, always have a choice whether or not you publish. You also have a choice how you're going to publish, and what kind of publication to pursue.

So I've compiled this list of the pros and cons of each of several publishing options (and trust me, each has pros AND cons). I have worked, as you now know, at big companies, small companies, and self-pub companies, and thusly declare myself a creature without bias (or pretty darn close). Of course, every publication experience is different. These are just generalizations culled from the best and the worst of my observations.

I have, rather snobbishly, lined up these options in the order of what (mostly) everyone starts out hoping for, then what they hope to settle for, etc. But I hope this pro/con list illuminates that all such distinctions are relative.

BIG HOUSE PUBLICATION
pros:
*Huge, powerful sales force. I put this first because it's perhaps the most important quality of a big house, whether consumers realize it or not. The reason most bestsellers come from big houses is because big houses have the most comprehensive and powerful sales teams, which have the best marketing sponsorship and thereby the biggest laydowns (first printings) and sell-ins (stocking numbers in national chains). So by default, they also have the best track records for numbers of copies sold--book buyers tend to buy what they see in stores. So chicken-egg-chicken etc. If you want your book to be a bestseller, your best bet is the big house route.

*Money, money, money. The big houses are giant corporate cash cows, often with private company or bajillionaire overlords (::cough Rupert Murdoch cough cough::). This means a lot of things:

*The possibility of a substantial advance (although these aren't universal, so don't get your hopes too far up).

*More personnel, so more people working on publicity, marketing, production, etc, with all the benefits that come from crack specialist teams.

*These personnel are usually paid more than their indie counterparts, which means (in theory) they may be the top of their game.

*Bigger possibilities for publicity and marketing budgets.

cons:

*Don't assume you're going to be allocated those publicity and marketing budgets. Only the "big books" will. All big companies have a way of stratifying each season's titles to indicate which ones are important and which are, essentially, quota-meeters. These two types of books are, respectively, Lead Titles and Midlist. If people are interested, I can talk about why the midlist exists elsewhere. But the fact remains that you may not want to be on it, unless you have the kind of book with a built-in niche audience (in that case, this may actually be a really good place for you). But for everyone else on the midlist, the publication experience can be harrowing, frustrating, and fraught with disappointment. You may have a great sales team selling the book, but if they don't love you or prioritize you, you might not have the dream scenario you imagined. More than one agent has actually told me they will no longer execute a midlist deal with a big house--they will take their project to a small house, and absorb the risks involved with that, rather than get involved in the midlist malarkey.

*A lot more bureaucracy. If you fall into the midlist, you may find yourself utterly unable to get a human being on the phone. Ever.

*Also, related to the bureaucracy: things can move at a totally glacial pace. In my time at a big company, I observed an awful lot of hurry-up-and-wait on the part of the author.

*Personnel turnover often leaves authors homeless. After their book is bought, it might get shuffled around. Here's's a great article I've linked to on bestselling author Susan Orlean's horrifying experience of big house shunting-around. Which isn't to say small companies are totally exempt, but there is some discrepancy.

In short, who would be best suited by this route:
BOOKS WITH OBVIOUS BLOCKBUSTER POTENTIAL. Make sure your agent gets you a good advance--it's your security deposit that the company is going to have to take you seriously. But if you fit this profile, this slot here is basically the only one on this list that will get you a bestseller.

BOOKS THAT ARE PERHAPS NOT POTENTIAL BESTSELLERS, BUT IN WHOSE GENRE/CULT FOLLOWING THE COMPANY HAS DEMONSTRATED A STRONG TRACK RECORD. For example, do you write urban fantasy or paranormal? Orbit is an imprint of a huge conglomerate (Hachette), but Orbit has been extremely successful with breaking out new genre authors by launching them in very tasty paperback packaging. It may be rare that their books break, say, the bestseller threshhold, but they sure as heck have a good track record of getting authors into the five-digit copies sold threshhold. A place where many, many of us would be very happy.

Most important of all, as you're submitting, IN THIS AS IN ALL THINGS, TALK OVER YOUR STRATEGIES VERY CAREFULLY WITH YOUR AGENT. You'll want to know what you want going in.

SMALL/INDIE HOUSE PUBLICATION
pros:
*It sounds trite to say indies are full of people with passion, and I don't mean to say the big houses aren't full of passionate readers, but it's true! Let's face it, we at the indies must have some kind of crazed vision of a literary future; otherwise, we wouldn't get ourselves stuck in these love-instead-of-money traps. But hey. This means if you sell your book to an indie, you'll most likely have a team of really die-hard nerds working with you. It can be a very loving environment.

*Many indies have a specific kind of cache; some get impressive numbers of reviews; others outperform all other companies, big or small, in specific genres. Take, for example, Akashic Books, who (among other genres) have created a monopoly on the noir anthology market. Who even knew such a market existed? Well, Akashic new, and made it happen, and has made many authors happy.

*Communication with your publishing team is relatively easy, since there are a small number of people and one professional often wears many hats.

cons:
*As mentioned above, indies are often specialized. They have smaller staffs, often with particular expertise areas. So don't try to reinvent the wheel--don't sell your crime novel to an indie that specializes in poetry, or your young adult novel to an indie that specializes in Slavic interest publishing. It's just... not going to be a good fit.

*Indie presses have small--often tiny--budgets. Let's just get that out of the way at the onset. They don't have huge public (or private) conglomerates behind them, and month-to-month cash flow is an immediate issue. They can't take huge risks, because huge risks could very well bankrupt a small company. Let's look at a couple manifestations of this smaller budget:

*A throwaway mistake a big company can make and absorb--say, printing and distributing 100,000 copies of a book, but only selling 20,000--could be ruinous for an indie. This means that they usually take smaller risks, printing closer to the bone, and are cautious about distribution. Because there are fewer copies available, let me come out and say it: on the indie model, it is very, very unlikely your book will be a bestseller.

In short, who would be best suited by this route:

BOOKS WITH CERTAIN CULT FOLLOWINGS: One great example of a success story is Paolo Bacigalupi's The Windup Girl, a biopunk fantasy novel that was publishing in late 2009 by Night Shade Books, a tiny sci fi/fantasy specialty publisher in San Francisco. Night Shade really knocked the ball out of the park for this book, and The Windup Girl ended up winning both the Hugo and the Nebula and being featured in tons of big places, including Time.

If you have a book with a very specific or cult audience, you might actually be better served by an indie who specializes in your type of publication than you would be served by a big house, who basically knows how to make obvious commercial successes into obvious commercial successes. It's simply a different model of people-power and numbers. Do make sure, if this description fits your book, that you're going with the right press.

SELF-PUBLICATION
pros:
*You, the author, control every aspect of the publication process. You can choose to publish a book that has not met with trade attention. You can dictate the title, the appearance, and the editorial content, and be totally in charge of your own publicity possibilities. Most frequently, the hugest pro is that authors who might not otherwise have been able to see themselves in print can, after all, if they self-pub.

*The reading market is becoming more egalitarian, especially with ereaders, etc. Selling your own book cheaply is so easily done on the internet that you might be able to drum up a readership without any of the trappings or deadweight of a publishing house. Just as long as you understand that all the work will be done by you, the author--and that it can be quite a lot of work.

*Some books are really, really well-suited to self-publishing. If you're, say, a lecturer, a community advocate, a professional who conducts seminars, or a doctor or nurse, you may have the need for informational or learning-oriented packets. Self-pubbing is a great way to go, since no company is going to be interested in the project, but there is still a market that wants the project.

In fact, I have a story from personal experience. When I was working at a large company, we bought the rights to a previously self-pubbed book by a dynamic author who did a lot of lecturing on a particular topic. The author's lecture had a tie-in book he had been photocopying and distributing, essentially, from his garage. Once he hit the 20,000 copy mark, he got really tired of doing it himself and decided to see if a publisher could do the work for him. The sad thing was, our publisher couldn't do it as well as the author himself could--publishers sell in traditional channels: bookstores. They don't do well with the hand-to-hand selling. In the end, after a short period of time and only a fraction of the success the author had had on his own selling from his garage, the publisher reverted the rights to the author, who went back on his merry way, probably wishing he had stuck to self-pubbing the whole time. He's an example of an author whose book was actually better suited to self-pubbing.

*If you're a fiction author who is dying to see their work in print--and professional-looking print at that--in a hurry, and who isn't really bothered by how widely it is distributed, go for it. For hobbiest writers without specific writing career aspirations, self-pubbing might be a great option. You'll have a way to get your story to family and friends, and maybe some others, as well, depending on your own distribution efforts.

cons:
*To get to the heart of my reader's question, there is a stigma associated with self-publishing. Not everyone feels this way, but many people do. This is because self-publishing contains a range of book types. Many fall into the type "author's passion project that can't seem to find trade publication." Trust me, as someone who has worked on many, many such titles, the range of quality among them is vast. I have seen some well-written, entertaining books that stand on their own but perhaps didn't attract an agent's attention because of bad timing (eg, there were a glut of similar titles on the market). I've also seen books that were barely written in English--in fact, some quite obviously by non-native speakers--but whose authors were so frustratingly precious about their vision that they refused to edit a single word. If you choose to self-publish, you're going to encounter people who think all self-pubbed authors fall into the latter category. You are going to have to work harder to set yourself apart, since no one but you has sanctioned the publication decision. That is, if you want to set yourself apart--as discussed above, many people self-pub for other reasons entirely.

If you choose to self-publish, you have to remember it is a choice, that you're doing it for your own good and have been well-informed about your options. You can't let people get you down or angry or defensive--if you do, you've lost this game. If the publication of your book does not make you happy, then you shouldn't publish it.

*You have to pay to publish your book, instead of having someone else pay you. I mean, these days, what with the trade author's job coming crumbling down, that's probably a smaller concern. But you do need a chunk of capital to get started.

*Capital, indeed, is the great equalizer... The more money you have to put toward promotion, the more likely your book will have any kind of chance in the trade market (if, indeed, trade market you pursue). Brunonia Barry had a huge success with her 2008 book The Lace Reader, but don't forget that she probably wouldn't ever have caught anyone's attention if it hadn't been for the very substantial private publicity plan she implemented when she self-published.

*The fiction market everywhere is extremely competitive. If you are considering self-publishing a novel, it is really important to ask yourself whether this is a novel that mainstream publishing didn't understand (in which case, they probably never will! so, like Brunonia, go with the god/dess of your choice and do what you can with your book) or if it is perhaps a book that isn't ready for trade publishing--meaning, might need another polish, more editorial development, etc.

*You most likely will not have trade distribution (meaning, you probably won't be stocked in your local Barnes & Noble or Powell's).

*Choosing the self-pub route often precludes a trade career. Not always, as demonstrated by Brunonia Barry, but often. The reason: chains, salespeople, buyers, retailers, etc all have access to Nielsen Bookscan. They look at author track records, and usually use these track records to decide whether or not they want to support the author's next book. If it shows that an author has a (most likely very modestly-selling) self-pubbed book already, they are going to use that as an excuse not to buy in again. It's how things work. Trust me, it's frustrating for everyone. But it's a point not to gloss over.

In short, who would be best suited by this route:
BOOKS WITH SPECIFIC PROFESSIONAL NICHES WHOSE MAIN DISTRIBUTION CHANNELS ARE NOT NECESSARILY BOOK STORES Like the author I mentioned above.

NOVELS BY AUTHORS WITH SPECIFIC VISIONS THEY DON'T WANT TO EDIT FOR TRADE PUBLISHING. If you're getting consistent feedback from agents that your book is not right for them for editorial reasons and you really believe in your project as it exists, with no changes, then it's possible your best bet is a smaller (not trade) audience. You can maintain 100% of your vision through self-pubbing, and although it will mean you will have limited distribution, your content will be solely in your control. A niche market is a better fit for many books, anyway.

BOOKS BY AUTHORS WHO WANT TO BE IN PRINT IN A HURRY AND WHO ARE WILLING TO DO THEIR OWN DISTRIBUTION AND PUBLICITY. A number of authors don't believe in the trade model at all. It does, after all, yield a lower percentage of the profits to the author. If you have your own vision and plan for moving forward, and understand the amount of work you'll be undertaking, then go for it.

~~~
Remember that it may be more frustrating and heartbreaking for you to publish your book poorly than to not publish it at all. As my mother has oft said to me, if it's meant to be, it will be. Which isn't to say it's not a worthy goal to pursue, and that arming yourself with as much knowledge as possible isn't a great idea. But understand all the options going in, and know what you want, and what you're willing to do to get it.

my own personal bridesmaid update

2010-07-30T12:50:00.000-04:00

So for those who still care about my bridesmaid saga, I only have one more wedding left this summer! This one, for some reason, has proved itself the most stressful, though. I can't quite put my finger on why, but this is the one that's been giving me anxiety dreams.

A month ago, I had the anxiety dream in which I showed up at the wedding and still hadn't bought the correct shoes (I ended up marching down the aisle in combat boots; my brain decided to add the creative detail to the dream of having all the bridesmaids carry candles instead of bouquets. "Just don't let the candles blow out," the bride's mother warned us as she sent us down the aisle. Of course mine kept blowing out and I in my combat boots would have to scurry over to the sconces on the chapel wall and relight it several times during my short journey. None of the other bridesmaids had any such difficulties.). This was the dream that inspired me to go out and buy the damn shoes, which of course almost gave me gangrene (so did anyone want me to post the pictures I took of my foot infections?).

I thought I was done with anxiety dreams after that. But this week, they came back. I guess we're just getting to close to the actual day.

In the first, on Tuesday night, I showed up--late, of course--for the wedding and realized I wasn't wearing the correct EARRINGS (because yes, in real life, the bride has mandated matching earrings as well as eye shadow--so maybe the dream isn't totally without relevance). I needed a pair of pearl studs, and the bride was SO disgusted with me that I hadn't managed to by them already.

But then, saving grace! my friend Karen--who, by the way, the bride doesn't know in real life, and who had no logical reason to be at her dream wedding--showed up. Karen happened to be wearing EXACTLY THE CORRECT EARRINGS!!!

"Karen, you HAVE to give me those earrings!" I begged.

"If you want them, you have to earn them," she said.

"How?" I would have done anything.

"Well, for the left earring, why don't you give me a verbal essay about the origins of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, and your opinion on the best global strategies for moving forward." Maybe I should mention Karen is a high school teacher.

"But Karen," I protested, "I'm not really up on current events! I haven't read much about it since--"

"You're just going to have to do your best," she said.

Luckily I woke up then. I don't think I could have delivered that essay.

The next night, I had another dream. In this one, I realized on the Thursday of the wedding week--as in, the night of the bachelorette party--that I had actually commited to being a bridesmaid in two different weddings that same weekend, one in DC, one in Vermont. I just hadn't realized until that moment that they overlapped. Woops.

After mulling over my options--could I somehow teleport between duties?--I realized I would have to cancel on one of the brides. My dream-self opted to cancel on the fake bride (ie, the one whose wedding I'm not actually in). This turned out to be a girl who'd sat at my four-person lab table in 8th grade science, although I hadn't seen her since then. My dream self didn't remember her name; I had to look her up on Facebook the next day.

Science Girl cried when I lied that family obligations had come up. It turns out I had made the right decision, though, since all the bridesmaids were wearing elaborate theater costumes for Roman-era tavern girls. There would have been extensive make-up required. As the bride sobbed about how much my participation would have meant to her, I woke up. Phew.

Anyway. That's where I'm at right now. Off to get me some pearl studs. Have a great weekend!

just finished reading

2010-07-26T21:41:00.001-04:00

Two books featuring Mormon Fundamentalism/polygamy: Brady Udall's The Lonely Polygamist, and David Ebershoff's The 19th Wife. My double review here. Anyone else read either?

some very quick thoughts on the present tense

2010-07-26T09:41:00.000-04:00

So I've been getting a TON of submissions in the present tense lately--normally, they're speckled throughout (maybe a 1:4 ratio, present to past). But lately EVERYONE seems to be writing in the present tense. So I felt the need to make a public service announcement.

First off, let me say that present tense is not a reason I categorically reject a novel submission. But it often becomes a contributing reason, because successful present tense novel writing is much, much more difficult to execute than past tense novel writing. Most writers, no matter how good they are, are not quite up to the task.

I'm not just being conservative here. It's true that historically, most novels have been written in the past tense. This is not purely convention--there are practical reasons for narrating in the past tense:

IN THE PRESENT TENSE, YOU MUST KNOW AND INCLUDE EVERY TINY DETAIL--there is no room for skipping forward. By placing the narrative in the immediate present, you're investing every moment and every breath with importance. Using past tense allows us to glibly skip forward and cut out of scenes easily once they have been milked for their interest. But in the present tense, you've already chosen the importance of, well, the present, which makes it much more difficult to escape artfully from the many boredoms that pad the interesting parts of our day-to-day life. This means that unless you are very, very skillful indeed, the format of your narrative may force you to include content that bores your audience, either directly or gradually.

THE PRESENT TENSE IS VERY STRESSFUL FOR YOUR READER. The flip side of the above point: if you haven't bored your reader, you've probably stressed them out. Think of the incredible tension of following every moment's move and thought and emotion--either there's not enough going on, and it's boring, or there is enough going on, and it's totally exhausting for the reader. Actually, this technique can work really well for high-energy thrillers, but if that's not your genre of choice, think about the unwelcome side effects. Frankly, life is exhausting to live--that's why we seek escapism in a nicely written novel--so don't make your book exhausting to read!

So present tense narrative is very difficult to execute. Can your story support moment-to-moment narrative? And if it can, can your reader handle it? Two questions to ask.

THE PRESENT TENSE CAN JAR UNCOMFORTABLY WITH SUBJECT MATTER. Somehow, present tense narration has a very modern feel to it. So I can put my finger on no more scientific reason for my aversion to reading certain stories in the present tense than that sometimes it can make the writing seem to contemporary (or too edgy) for the subject matter in the book.

ARE THERE NOVEL GENRES WHERE IT'S OK TO USE PRESENT TENSE? Yeah, actually--playing off the subject matter point, I've read a couple scifi and crime novels/thrillers where the author pulled off the present tense. However, that does not make it a less difficult feat to accomplish.

CAN SHORT STORIES BE WRITTEN IN PRESENT TENSE? Sure! In fact, many great short stories are present tense. The reason the shorter genre is ok for present tense: you're sustaining the narrative for a shorter period of time, and often focusing on tense moments or short but deep plot arcs. A short story is a great place to explore moment-to-moment action or emotion.

DO NOT FLIP-FLIP TENSES. This is like flip-flopping perspectives. You may feel you NEED to do it to best showcase the drama or action in your story, but eventually it's just laziness: if you had worked a little harder, you could have figured out how to say something as powerful in the same tense that you started writing in. Remember that above all things: flouting many conventions is actually laziness. Sometimes it's not, but try to be your own harshest critic here.

In summary, when you embark on a writing project, the present tense may seem like a good idea. But please think carefully about all the above points--it would be sad to think that the wrong tense choice was what got between you and a book deal.

back from bridesmaiding

2010-07-13T08:34:00.000-04:00

...at what turned out to be the most beautiful wedding in the world (apologies to those hoping for horror stories! Better luck next time ;). It was seriously like being in a regency-style remake of Pride & Prejudice. 1100-year-old English church, seven miniature flower girl cousins in shades of pinks and purples, groom in top hat, barefoot Scottish dancing in a hayfield late into the night. Everything (everything!) was done by hand in an incredible show of teamwork by the bride's family and friends (her mom made the bridesmaid dresses and grew the sweet pea flowers, which her grandmother arranged and used to decorate the church; one extremely talented family friend made the professional-looking cake, did the bride's hair and make-up, and slaughtered the cow from her own herd to cook the steaks for the rehearsal dinner, etc). It was really incredible to see all those people come together.

As you know, I'm a big sap, and basically cried the entire time. Except while dancing. The only major casualties of being a bridesmaid for me were tearful dehydration and majorly sore calves from reeling and romping for eight hours. Definitely, definitely both worth it.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the globe, the Aunda was also at a wedding--a traditional Afghan-style Muslim wedding, quite an exciting experience for her. Many years ago, when my brother and sister were babies, my mother hired as a babysitter an Afghan woman, whose family had evacuated under extreme duress--they had to ride camels through the desert to Pakistan before finding asylum (Fatima, the mother/wife, was six months pregnant at the time--an incredible story). The Afghan family was still getting their start in America at the time--they are quite prosperous now, but back when my bubbies were babies they were in a position where it helped a lot for Fatima to watch children. We are still family friends with them, but we aren't as close as the Aunda, who, as everyone knows, is a major meddler, and is now so involved with the family that she scores invites to all these awesome parties. She said the reception--300 people--was like nothing she had ever seen before, and she was extremely impressed with the food (hard to believe, but they didn't serve pasta! instead they had rice! how interesting!) and everyone's dresses. This morning she chatted to me for a very long time about all the points of Muslim weddings she had learned about--the most surprising part to her was that the bride has to pretend to be sad during the entire wedding. The Aunda, however, was NOT sad to be there, and a good time was had by all.

So all in all, an extremely positive weekend for weddings. HOWEVER, while I was away, I received THE MOST amazing horror stories about OTHER people's wedding experiences! So fear not, entertainment will commence anon.

I'll probably post a story a day for the next week. Thanks to everyone who submitted, despite the fact that I never officially even announced a prize. I couldn't pick a winner, because all the stories are hilarious. If you entered, send me your mailing address and I'll send you a little treat as a token of my esteem :)

good news galore

2010-07-08T03:27:00.002-04:00

Hello from sunny, temperate England (utterly unlike the New York I left, which was somehow both overcast-muggy and 8,000 degrees). And apologies again for the neglect in this time of Busy. But in the meantime, I have tons of things to announce.

First, you still have until midnight tonight to enter the contest! And let's be totally honest--I'm not going to be back at my computer again until Sunday, so if you're running a little late--like three days late--I'm probably not going to notice. No one has suggested a prize yet, either, so I'm still open for suggestions.

In other mischief, lots of of old friends have great news!

Ebony McKenna's debut novel, ONDINE, a fairytale-mystery, was just released in Canada. Congrats, Ebony, and I can't wait to see it in BNN as well as Indigo :)

Anita Laydon Miller, our friendly Colorado book reviewer, has landed a literary agent--she's just signed with Sara Megibow of Nelson Literary. You go, Anita! Let us know how your adventures unfold!

It's a hot day in Colorado. Stephanie Blake (also known as Colorado Writer) has just landed a book deal! Robin Benjamin at Marshall Cavendish has bought Stephanie's debut, THE MARBLE QUEEN, for publication in 2012.

I feel a special victory here because all three of these ladies have been online friends for a long, long time. It's, like, victory for everybody. Congrats, everybody! Keep making me proud :)

In which Moonrat is always (always, always) a bridesmaid

2010-07-02T14:57:00.000-04:00

So I'm having a fun summer, during which EVERYONE I KNOW IN THE WORLD is getting married. The reason you haven't been hearing from me much is because most weekends between June and August have been devoted to either showers or engagement parties or bachlorette parties or the weddings themselves.

Thanks, guys. Way to stagger the schedule.

What all these brides need, I feel, is a managing editor. Managing editors control project schedules, make sure deadlines don't bottleneck, and check that there are either personnel or freelancers to cover all the work needed. I feel like no one is coordinating my various brides with one another at all!

But anyway, I love weddings. These should be interesting, too. One bride has selected a barn as her venue, and she and her groom will roll in as man and wife on a tractor. Another bride, who is an outdoorsy sort, is having her reception in a field, and guests are encouraged to bring sleeping bags. (YT, who is perhaps less outdoorsy, will be trundled very comfortably in a nearby hotel, don't worry. I'm not sleeping with any spiders, thank you very much.) But there will be much dancing and speechifying (and thank God, breaking announcement, an open bar! one of the weddings was looking hairy there for a while) and, if all goes well, the RM won't offend too many of my friends' parents with his, erm, off-color sense of humor. Actually I'm still debating leaving him at home. The last time I took him to a wedding... Never mind.

So I'm actually really excited about all this. Well, to be totally honest, there are one or two facets of being a bridesmaid I'm rather less excited about. But generally the pros way outweigh the cons.

Speaking of weighing. Being a bridesmaid is a physically hazardous prospect, for those of you who haven't tried it before. For example, say one is in a wedding overseas, and the international bride of yours has sweetly bought you a bridesmaid dress in a mystical British size.

"What British size are you?" asked the bride. Because I was going to know the answer to that question. Because I can even tell you what American size I am. (I can't. Really. The only reason I go to work clothed in the morning is because periodically people like the Rally Monkey or my mother go out and by me load of items from consignment shops. So my British size? Your guess is as good as mine. And you don't even know what I look like.)

The bride was not chagrined. "I'll just buy you a dress in my size," she said. It almost sounded rational.

So the short story is, I won't know until the week of the wedding itself whether the dress will even fit or not! To prepare, I went on a diet (I figured it's better to be too skinny for the dress than too fat, right?). However, for me, dieting amounts to starving sadly all day, then going home and eating trays and trays of cookies baked by the evil Rally Monkey. And sometimes also cheating and having dinner in Chinatown when no one is looking. And sometimes having milkshakes or giant cupcakes at Crumbs. But only sometimes. In the end, I am probably only one or two pounds heavier than I was at the beginning of my wedding diet, which, all told, is pretty good.

Will the dress fit? I will let you know how that all plays out anon. I have fairly long hair, so if the dress won't zip up the back maybe I can just let it hang and cover. It's good to have back-up plans!

Elsewhere in the "physical hazards of being a bridesmaid" column, we have "gangrene" and "limb amputation." Another bride of mine gave her maids delightfully flexible rules for shoe-buying; this means we can wear whatever we want, as long as the color is right, the heel size is low enough, and they are not made of plastic. Which actually turns out is pretty specific. I found two pairs at DSW that matched the description, and being a cheapo, went for the pair that only cost $25.

I chose to break these shoes in the weekend I was going to one of the engagement parties. Perfect! I thought. And fortunately I don't have to do too much walking, so in case they're uncomfortable, minimum damage will be incurred.

I wore the shoes for 7 hours on a Sunday. Let's just say... not as comfortable as one imagined. On Monday, I hobbled around on the outsides of my feet, feeling glad blisters heal so quickly. On Tuesday, I woke up in the middle of the night to wash the puss out. On Wednesday, I took pictures, but the RM forbade me from posting them here because he said it would drive away all my readership. On Thursday, patches of dead green skin started sliding off my feet, and the entire inner sides were inflamed. I called my father, as one does, and explained the situation, and he encouraged me to secure an antibiotic. Woops, I needed antibiotics to treat my bridesmaidfeet. It is now almost two weeks later and I still have thumb-sized scabs on either foot.

However, I am NOT paying ANOTHER $25 for a DIFFERENT pair of shoes of this description. After all, they might do the same thing. So I will just wear these again. After all, I'm only walking down the aisle. Right?

The RM says it's not worth losing my feet over this wedding. No friendship is worth that much, he says. I think he's a quitter, that's what I think.

Anyway, now you know about my adventures. Former (or current) bridesmaids, I invite you to share your stories of wonder and horror. In fact, don't do it in the comments--send me via email. In fact, let's make it into a contest.

CONTEST!!

Tell me your bridesmaid story! And so the fellas don't feel left out, you can tell groomsmen story, or the story of a loved one who was forced to bridesmaid. Fiction, nonfiction, poetry, essay, letter, whatever you like. Feel free to include pictures if you think they will enhance. Entries will be judged on a rubric of stylish execution and outrageousness.

The prize will be... hmm. Any suggestions? I mean, I'll definitely post my favorites here. But what else would people like to be awarded with? I'm very open to suggestions.

Email me your story at moonratty AT gmail DOT com. There are no length stipulations, but remember I have a very short attention--what? A cupcake? Where?

The deadline: Thursday, July 8, 11:59 pm EST

For inspiration, you might read the essay "You on a Stick" from Sloan Crosley's I WAS TOLD THERE'S BE CAKE.

Ok. Off I go. Wish me luck!

The Mystical Blue Yonder (Or, Book Publicity)

2010-07-01T12:41:00.000-04:00

I got a note:

Dear Moonrat,

My book is coming out from a lovely indie publisher. Since they're small, I know I'm going to have to help out with book publicity. Any recommendations for where to start?

XXX

Um. Ok. How to tackle this?

I have been working in publishing now for... at least three weeks, let's just say. I have seen a lot of people trying a lot of things to make books sell. I've seen companies and authors spend tons of money and sell zero books, and I've seen no-name midlist books that no one believed in or stood behind totally take off. So what's the secret to book publicity?

Magic.

Ok, but besides magic, do I have recommendations for what you can do to help your own book? Sure.

Successful book sales are a combination of two factors (and this is literally all it comes down to):

1) Accessibility of book
2) Word of mouth

Accessibility is something that you can't do alone. You need your publisher to help you as much as possible, which means helping your publisher as much as possible. If you can, get your agent to request a publicity meeting with your publisher a year to six months before publication. This shouldn't be a "what are you going to do for me?" conversation, but rather a brainstorming session--remember that ultimately you all have the same goal (selling your book) and sometimes a meeting/conversation like this will help your company think of new ideas based on your personal connections and experience, and maybe also help you realize you have connections and experience you didn't realize you had. Good for all. Also, it's always good to show you are smart, positive, and enthusiastic.

Now if all things line up well and you start way in advance, your publisher will have more ammo to go in with when they have to sell the books in to the accounts (the chains, indies, etc). The more your publisher knows about you and your publicity plan for the book, the more copies they'll be able to get into stores, and the more successfully they'll be able to target the right market for your book.

Now, for more personal things you can do, I'd offer the following bits of advice:

Make a website
If you don't already have one. In case people want to come to you for publicity, they need to have a place to go. Your blog will do just fine, as long as there are clean and accessible pages of info about you. Just... don't leave yourself without go-to internet presence. Make sure there is contact info there, and make sure you don't put up anything time-sensitive (because nothing looks worse than logging onto an author website and seeing "Wow! Can't believe 2007 is here already!").

How do I create that "word of mouth" thing you were talking about?
Well, people have to talk about your book. Ultimately, if we really want things to take off, people you don't know have to talk about your book to other people you don't know, and then THEY have to talk to people you don't know. But this chain of events can start with people you know; for this reason, remember your family and friends.

For authors publishing with small or indie presses, or self-publishing, or who know for whatever reason there are not going to be a whole ton of copies of their book going out, I recommend a book party as a good starting point. Even if it's intimate, it's nice to celebrate your accomplishment while reminding people you've been published. It's also a good way to get the ball rolling. We talked here about throwing a good launch party.

You can also give stuff out. Cheap and nice solutions include bookmarks, buttons, pens, and postcards; you can get fancier, but usually the cheap stuff works just as well. Don't be shy about asking your friends to give your thingies out at work, too. That's what friends are for.

Plan to spend a little money.
Guidelines I have heard include 10% of your advance--but of course this is only relevant in some cases. Don't go bankrupt, no matter what you do; think of it as hobby money (I might have spent this on vacation or buying myself tropical fish, but instead I'll use it on gas money to drive to Houston for that book signing, etc). But use your allotted funds on things like your giveaways, visiting indie bookstores and introducing yourself to owners, etc.

Should you hire a publicist?
There are pros and cons. Publicists are expensive. Very, very expensive. But if you are in a situation where you're getting zero backing from your publisher--which, let's be honest, happens a lot--you could benefit from one. Just make sure it's worth your while. Also, make sure the publicist is a good choice for you--if it's someone rinky-dink, they may get nothing done. If it is someone huge, they may end up ignoring you for bigger fish. Get recommendations from author friends.

I hope this helps. So much of publicity is case-by-case. Let me know if any specific questions/scenarios come up--or if any authors want to volunteer stories on what worked for them, that would be great.

because I know everyone was holding their breath

2010-06-24T21:33:00.003-04:00

I passed! The iron test, that is. My iron count was just over threshold, and I gave blood successfully!

Then I ate a giant cheeseburger and had a peanut butter milkshake. Yar.

So glad to tell you the sacrificing caffeine seems to have paid off! Or at least it didn't hurt.

why the first page of your manuscript is so dang important

2010-06-23T12:10:00.001-04:00

Just briefly, because I am up to my tailbone in manuscripts.

Heaps and heaps and heaps of manuscripts. At the moment, all of them fiction. 90% of them debut novels. All of their authors hoping desperately for a book deal, for a home for their beloved novel.

When I read submission after submission after submission--which, let's face it, is everyday--my mind starts to dull. My eyes begin to glaze from all the white on black. My butt begins to hurt from sitting. I'm pretty hungry (because I'm always pretty hungry), and this is making me cranky. As the day wears on, I get irritable. The reading gets faster, and the disappointments stack up more quickly.

I don't want to reject books--I want to buy them! But I can't buy something that I'm not passionate about. So many of these manuscripts are only 60% of a book I'd want to read. There are different reasons they don't fit the bill--maybe the content doesn't interest me personally; maybe I don't like the writer's style; maybe there's nothing special about the book, it's just adequate. Maybe the agent didn't do a great job of pitching it, and I was expecting something other than what I got.

Or maybe it's a beautiful, perfect, exquisite book, exactly the book I've always dreamed of publishing. But I'll never know, because the first page was CRAP.

There are different ways to create a crappy first page. Boringness. Cliche. Too many fancy schmancy words. Immersing your audience too quickly into the action. Immersing them too slowly.

Yeah, I know, it's basically impossible to win at this game. But YOU MUST TRY.

Above all things, YOU MUST BE SPECIAL.

Assume whoever is reading your submission is going to be in a terrible mood when they look at page 1.

You just don't have until page 2.

Saturday morning educational video

2010-06-19T05:49:00.002-04:00

How to swear in English (Korean instructional video). As the commenters say, "I would learn English from this man!" "Learn English? I would follow this man into battle!" (Warning: as our kind teacher points out, children and pregnant women should not watch, as it will not be beneficial for them.)

Thanks to Maud Newton for steering me to him.

weakness of nationalism at The Office

2010-06-18T11:42:00.000-04:00

Editor Colleague: You know, maybe we should stop feeling so happy the US tied it up. After all, no one here even cares about soccer. That's all Slovenia has.

YT: Shh!! Stop! Be strong of mind and will!! Slovenia has plenty.

Marketing Director: Like what?

YT: Like... delicious cuisine.

MD: Oh yeah? Like what?

YT: Uh. [I'm not sure, so I scramble to look up "Slovenian Cuisine" on Wikipedia, and come up with this]. It says right here that... "There is no such thing as Slovenian cuisine..."

EC: Exactly.

Fight Wikipedia, my friends! Send me your best Slovenian recipes. Go US!

just finished reading

2010-06-18T07:54:00.001-04:00

Lips Touch Three Times, by Laini Taylor, illustrated by Jim di Bartolo. My review here. Anyone else read it? Any thoughts?

I guess I'm more closely genetically linked to her pet turtle than to her.

2010-06-17T13:03:00.000-04:00

Fellow Editor: So I was thinking about this. I have a pet turtle, and every day she eats--well, it's basically lettuce, but it's still bigger than her entire body. Meanwhile, I eat this [brandishing a sandwich], which is smaller than my head, and I feel totally satisfied.

[file under: #problemsidonot have]

life is meaningless without challenges.

2010-06-16T16:47:00.000-04:00

This post has absolutely nothing to do with publishing, except maybe how much coffee people in publishing drink (a lot).

So back when I was very very young, I used to give blood all the time. I started when I was 17, and quickly figured out that giving blood was a nifty way to assuage my grieving conscience for all my other crimes against humanity. E.g. "You've been gossiping an awful lot about your friends lately; that makes you a nasty person. But at least you gave blood." Etc, etc. Plus giving blood is a good excuse to eat like a hooligan. Replenishing nutrients and whatnot. Right?

Anyway, this merry pattern dropped off about two years ago. At that point, every time I went into the NYC Blood Center, they would stab my finger and then turn me away for low iron. An outrageous accusation, especially hurled at one who could easily eat an entire cow over the course of a week (or other tasty iron-filled meat product, for that matter).

I tried eating more meat and going back. No dice. I tried supplementing iron-rich non-meats, like spinach and walnuts. YUM WALNUTS! An addiction was born. But no, still the iron count was too low.

The last time I went, I asked the guy what was wrong with me. "I never used to have this problem until a couple years ago," I told him.

"Hmm," he said. "Well, have you started drinking a lot of coffee lately?"

"No," I said. "No more than three or four cups a day. Unless I'm tired. Then sometimes more."

"Right," he said. "You know coffee depletes your iron. Try cutting out the coffee and coming back."

Obviously I laughed uproariously at his hilarious joke. Cut out the coffee! FUN.NY. Sure, I wanted to help save lives. But without coffee, I might accidentally kill someone myself, either through morning rage or sheer sleepy accident. So saving lives might actually cost lives. Which would defeat the purpose, right?

Well, anyway, suffice it to say that after lo these many months I am reversing that decision. I have to leave the country shortly (on vacation, boohoo, poor me), and that will make me ineligible to donate for six months. So, when inspired by my friend Ellen, who also wants to make a donation, I decided to squeeze one last little life-saving in before jetting off.

Our appointment is set for next Thursday. I haven't had any coffee whatsoever--not a single drop--since Friday morning of last week. Let's just say this is both easier and harder than I imagined. I come from a fine line of coffee drinkers. My father, who used to be in the navy, drank so much black coffee everyday to keep himself awake through his dog watches that on nights he managed to sneak in a full 8 hours to sleep, he would wake up 4 hours into it with a crushing caffeine withdrawal headache, brew himself a cup, and go back to sleep. I mean, he makes me look like an amateur.

It's very interesting to look at the facets of my life this probably largely psychosomatic drug has. For example, without the crutch of coffee, how do I trick my brain into engaging in the morning? A brisk walk? A math puzzle? Cake? (I have tried at least one of these options. I will not insult your intelligence by saying which.) And this is only one manifesting issue. My coworkers probably want to kill me--I keep walking into things, taking three times as long as usual to do stuff, and being unable to think of very common everyday, uh, what are they called. Those things, that you say and write. Words! That's them. But my coworkers are kind and haven't let on.

Perhaps we can break the addiction forever! Do I have staying power? I don't know. I like coffee. I like the smell, and also mixing it with lots of milk. But I do hear it does a number on your poor insides. I dunno. I'll leave big decisions until later.

Anyway. That's my adventure for this week. Now if the Blood Center tells me my iron count is STILL too low, I shall return here with irateness anon.

just finished reading

2010-06-13T09:38:00.002-04:00

The Elvenbane, by Andre Norton and Mercedes Lackey. This is the one I promised you I'd review a couple days ago--the reread of my childhood magician's book. My review here. I know at least a couple of you have also read it--I hope you'll come out of your lairs and comment. (Dragon joke.)

writing @$$ off commencing

2010-06-12T08:03:00.001-04:00

Please feel welcome to report your accomplishments here, fellow stalwart friends. The official goal is 3,000 words, but my personal goal is to finish one scene that's been tricky.

Knock 'em dead!

ladies and gentlement, we have a bleeder*

2010-06-11T10:56:00.003-04:00

*I borrow a term from vampire literature I've been reading lately to refer to a "real, live human being, who has presented itself in the flesh, for all the world as if it is begging to be sucked dry"

That's right. We have had an unsolicited, unagented author "drop by" the press to hand-deliver his work today.

He is, even as I type this from behind my little wall, describing to our poor managing editor the merits of his manuscript and exactly why he's sure we're going to love it.

What is our ME supposed to say to that?!

*squeak*

"Uh, thanks"?

"Well, this is a little uncomfortable. I really wish you'd stop describing your plot to me now so I can get back to work, especially since I'm not the one who will be reading this anyway"?

"Wish you had followed our submissions guidelines as they are available on the web, but instead you've chosen to demonstrate that you're above everyone else's submission guidelines, so thanks for helping us realize at the beginning of the process that you're going to be a handful to work with"?

It sounds (as I huddle behind my desk) like our ME is being very polite. Power to the ME! Better our ME than me!

I know dropping off a manuscript in person seems like a great idea--a way to make yourself stand out, a way to make yourself special, make that agent/editor remember you.

But it's really, really not.

Remember that on a whole, editors are introverted and antisocial (even, secretly, yours truly, if you crack through this blustery exterior--it's part of the job calling, if you think about it). This means that for many editors, in-person presentations like this feel an awful lot like confrontations. You do NOT want the person who's reading your manuscript having backed-into-a-corner thoughts about you.

In fact, you risk the editor becoming afraid of you, and assuming you are a stalker.

Anyway. Everybody reading this blog already knows these rules. It is, alas, the people who will never need this blog that most need them.

My Magician's Book (Or, the Life-Long Secret of the Reader Child)

2010-06-09T21:14:00.005-04:00

So, fans of the Chronicles of Narnia, I'm going to remind you of one of one of Lewis's mini-fables, as this book reminded me:

Lucy Pevensie is looking in a spell book for a spell she desperately needs. The spell, it turns out, is in the form of a story, a really amazing story that Lucy can't stop reading. It's so good that she tries to go back and reread it, but finds the (magical) pages only turn in one direction. Worst of all, the story is erasing itself from her brain even as she reads it, so that by the time she gets to the end she can't remember it at all. But it was such a good story that from that day on, whenever she reads something that she enjoys, it's only because it in some way reminded her of that one perfect, lost story.

Sound familiar? The Magician's Book. The perfect story you read as a child, and which since you read it has gone utterly unmatched and only vaguely echoed by anything else you read?

If you're a nerd-child like me, you probably have a book (or book series) like this. You might still be able to quote from it extensively, even though you haven't read it in five, ten, twenty, or fifty years. You're still not sure you ever felt as good or as intense as you did that first time you read it, and you may have wished really desperately that you could just find and be transported to the world those characters lived in. Any of this ringing any bells for you?

When I read The Magician's Book, Laura Miller's monograph on her love of Narnia and rereading it as an adult, bells were clanging in my head, like Sunday morning at all the churches in the world.

For Laura Miller, the book columnist at Salon.com, the Magician's Book was Narnia. She writes about her childhood love for Narnia, her return to the series as an adult, and everything she has learned about and ruminated on regarding nerdy childish reading patterns. Some points she makes:

1) As children, we read books desperately then, falling wholly and completely in love with them (did you ever sneak a book under the dining room table or under the lid of your desk at school, and then get yelled at by your parent/teacher for reading instead of being social/studious? I did all the time. ALL THE TIME.)

2) We kept reading as adults, but don't really love reading as much or as purely as we used to when we were kids. This is because...

3) Experience, life-knowledge, exposure to various things, etc destroy our credulity as we get older, meaning we don't allow ourselves the same escapism we used to as kids. One of her great examples here is the nearly universal desire of children to read about talking animals or a hero's ability to commune with animals--it's because, down to that bitter moment we actually become adults, all children hang onto the hope that *they* will be the child to bridge that gap and talk with animals. Eventually, we finally give up on that hope, and then we feel stupid and embarrassed at ourselves for ever feeling hope in that particular magic.

(That's another sad part about being an adult--being embarrassed by the things that made us happy when we were kids.)

Laura Miller says that, for us, you know, us kids who read constantly and obsessively when we were kids, we've spent our entire lives trying, like Lucy, to resuscitate that feeling of total immersion we felt when we read our Magician's Books when we were kids. We read things and like or enjoy them based on to what degree they can recall that ancient, complete escapism.

Now, full disclosure--I read a lot. I mean, besides for work. And despite all this very great amount of reading that I do, it is very, very rare that I read anything and experience a sense of pure enjoyment. I mean, I often experience some or various enjoyments from what I read, or I appreciate different elements about the book, or maybe it strikes a particularly resonant chord for me. But very, very, VERY rarely do I get so totally lost in a book that every time I put it down I just itch to re-immerse myself. You know, the way I read EVERYTHING when I was a kid.

So recently, I reread my Magician's Book--an epic fantasy called The Elvenbane, which I'll review separately. I don't want to give up any spoilers regarding whether or not it held up to my childish love for it; I'll get to that later. But I've decided it's really silly to be embarrassed about the things I read and loved as a child. That means--mostly epic fantasy, which made me so, so happy as a child. So very happy.

So, calling all nerd children: what do you think of Laura Miller's thesis about childhood reading? What was your Magician's Book? I can't wait to hear.

*Postscript: I dedicate this post to Alyssa Smith, the Sterling editor who loaned me her copy of Laura Miller's MAGICIAN'S BOOK and inspired this post. Alyssa has been a very good friend for a long time, and has been one of a small vanguard of folks who have helped me re-discover my inner geek. Alyssa also had the horrific experience of losing all of her belongings and pets in a fire that burned down her entire house earlier this week. Alyssa has done a lot of kind things for a lot of people, so please send her your love, good wishes, and, if you can spare a couple bucks, her friends are collecting donations to help her rebuild her life. More details here.

tons of good news

2010-06-08T22:08:00.003-04:00

Lots going on in our part of the blogosphere...

First, a bunch of his friends have put together a huge online party, complete with prizes, presents, and games, for the release of Stephen Parrish's new book. And writing contests. I know "contest" is the magic word for a bunch of addicts around here, so run off and submit!

Next, devilish good news, my very dear friend Ellen Oh has just signed with the stellar agent Joe Monti. I'm SO happy for her. I know a lot of you guys know and love Ello as much as I do, so this is a big victory for the team!

Finally, he's so modest that I had to figure it out for myself, but very very long-time EdAss reader and commenter Charles Gramlich just had a book come out! Bitter Steel, a collection of epic fantasy stories, is available from Borgo Press.

As for me, I'm still icky-busy over here (you know, though, in a good way). But I will be doing Saturday's Write Your @$$ Off Day! The official goal is 3,000 words in one day, but my goal will be just to devote a couple steady hours to writing. I'm still working on that project that came to me in my dream, just like what happened to Stephenie Meyer.

That's all for now!

Summer Fridays!

2010-06-04T08:54:00.002-04:00

So here's a wacky tradition that goes back to, we imagine, back when everyone in publishing was incredibly wealthy and had some kind of summer weekend getaway in the Hamptons. In the summers, we work an hour later Monday through Thursday, and then on Fridays everyone leaves at one o'clock. (Not everywhere... just most places.)

Obviously, for all the COOL kids, that makes summer the time of Karaoke Happy Hour. From 2pm to 7pm, at various New York establishments, Karaoke is only $4 per person per hour (I pay to sing, not to drink--I understand other people go to Karaoke for different reasons, but I have VERY clearly defined priorities).

So to celebrate, I link you (again) to this ridiculous video: "Total Eclipse of the Heart" (perhaps the best Karaoke song ever), the literal version. If you don't laugh, your next two songs at Karaoke are on me.

Happy Summer Friday!

just finished reading

2010-06-01T22:43:00.001-04:00

Rock Paper Tiger, by Lisa Brackmann. My review here. Anyone else read it? Any thoughts?

How to Throw an Awesome Book Launch

2010-05-31T20:11:00.002-04:00

Hey Moonrat. Any tips for throwing your own book launch?

Uh, YEAH. I've seen some really excellent book launches in my time, so let me throw down a couple of ideas I've stolen from innovative authors.

1. Expect zero support from your publisher. I mean financial support as well as every other kind of support--a lot of publishers have a zero collaboration policy on book launches. Don't hold too much of a grudge--it's hard to justify spending marketing dollars on a party when they could be spent on retail co-op placement or ad initiatives. So just be pleasantly surprised if your publisher does send materials or people or money (hey! Sometimes it happens!), but be prepared to do it all on your own.

2. Put together an invite list. Do this before you try to take any other steps, because knowing the names of the people (and how many) you expect is really key to securing a venue.

Don't fudge this--sit down and make an actual list. The reason I say this is because if you go the route of approaching a bookstore to host you, they might actually ask for a guest list to decide if they can break even on accommodating your party. But just practically speaking, knowing how many people might come will help you choose a good spot and make sure you have enough supplies. Pretend you're planning a wedding here--take it that seriously. Put the guests in tiers: Definitely will show up come hell or high water; Can probably count on him/her as long as s/he is in town; Might come; There's some chance s/he will show up. I do this pretty frequently, and always use Facebook and LinkedIn as well as my email address book to cross-reference who will be in the area. Remember to include local business people you've patronized--many of them will be tickled pink to see your project, and some of them may offer sponsorship (for example, donating door prizes) in exchange for the advertising opportunity (although I'd say don't ask people for this kind of thing unless you know them pretty well and are sure they won't take offense).

Then, prep yourself emotionally to only expect the "Definitely" people, but to be able to host the "Some chance" people if they happen to show up. Just like any party. Only take this one a little more seriously--the more the merrier at your book's big coming-out party. You want all the attention around launch time you can get, and your friends are a good place to start.

3. Venue: to bookstore or not to bookstore? There are advantages and disadvantages to both. A bookstore party is harder to score and more responsibility for you. You have to be careful of the property, the time frame, and the owner's interests, which include making money while they close down the store for you. On the other hand, if your party is a great success and lots of people buy books, you have an opportunity to create a beautiful relationship with your local bookstore.

Conversely, a non-bookstore venue is often easier because you don't have to worry about the above pressures. I've seen some very creative and successful venues: bowling alleys, hair salons, living rooms, back yards, clothing stores after-hours, liquor stores, ballrooms. In my opinion, the best venue is one you don't have to pay for. But other than that, there are really no rules to where you can throw a book party.

The downside about not having a bookstore party is you're going to have to arrange your own book copies and sales. Sometimes, your local bookstore will be able/willing to send a bookseller to staff and sell at your party, even if they can't afford to actually host the party. If you can't set that up (and it's often tricky, but it's worth a shot), you can always just order your own copies. (See below.)

4. Arrange food and beverages. Trust me--you can't have too much. And also trust me--if you've got stuff to nosh, you'll get a higher turnout commitment. What can I say? People like food. Heck, if you have a party with food, just tell me where and when and I'LL come.

If you're worried about cost, there are lots of ways to do this cheaply. One of my authors held a truly GORGEOUS book launch for herself--I thought the whole thing was catered and must have cost her thousands of dollars. I found out later that in fact several of her thrifty friends each pitched in potluck style. It was a seriously classy party for not very much money.

If you're doing the whole thing yourself, remember it's quantity, not quality. Piles of Doritos are just as munchable as fancy canapes. You don't need to spend lots of money; this party is about your book, so you're not going to be judged for what snacks you serve.

5. Creative add-ons make people happy! I've seen some authors have themes that relate to their books. For example, Alaya Johnson had an excellent 1920s-themed party for Moonshine, which is set during the 1920s. She was smart, though, in that she didn't make the theme a prerequisite of the party, just a fun add-on--you don't want to make your party work for the people attending.

If themes aren't for you, consider a raffle! Maybe guests can fill out a cue card with something cute related to the book, and you can draw a winner or two. Then you can advertise "door prizes" on your invite, which looks nice. If you're energetic, you might make gift bags or little giveaways. These don't have to be expensive, but something to take home is a nice thank-you to your guests for coming out. You can get things like tote bags for $3 or $5 a pop if you're feeling fancy, or you can make things like personalized bookmarks or pens for a lot less.

Obviously, none of these things are necessary to making a good party. Really the only necessary thing is food.

6. Uh, make sure there are copies of your book at the party. If you scored a bookstore venue, the store owner will have to work this out with your publishing company. Your guest list will DEFINITELY come in handy then. You really, really want to guess about the right number of copies. Over-ordering will be a great trauma for your kind host, but under-ordering will cause both you and them to lose business. In my humble opinion, it's always better to over-order slightly. Sometimes the host, if they are generous, will invite you to sign the remaining stock. So be nice to the host.

But yeah, if someone else is providing the books, follow up. A lot. I mean, be nice about it. But don't underestimate the ability of other people to be disorganized. It would be really sad if you had a party with no books.

If you're at a non-bookstore venue and aren't partnering with a bookstore to sell your book, you have some extra bonus options. I would recommend buying copies for yourself and selling them for cash. As a courtesy to your guests, you might sell them at a discount if you got the copies at an author discount (an advantage over working with a bookstore, who will probably charge cover price). Now here's the most unorthodox suggestion I'm going to make in this post. If you're buying the copies yourself, do so from a retailer who will give you a bulk discount (I have no preference among accounts, but there are certain retailers that pretty much always give discounts, such as Powells and Amazon). If you buy copies from an account like this instead of from your publisher, the books you buy will a) count toward your national sales numbers, which is always a good thing, and b) pay you royalties. And yeah, a lot of times you can get a discount from these accounts that's almost as high as your contractual author discount. So, as Michael Scott would say, it's a win-win-win situation.

7. Remember to thank everyone profusely all the time. Just in general, when you're an author, make this your policy in all things. But especially be gracious at your book launch. Be unflappable! Expect the least from your guests/customers, and appreciate everything as much as possible. It's easy to let your nerves get the best of you, but just be nice no matter what. (Those who have been around these parts for a while might remember my story of watching an author event go down the tubes because the author let their nerves make them snappish.)

There are my thoughts! Hope they help.

**ETA** Authors! If you have good/bad/ugly book launch stories to share, please do!

Saturday morning publishing song

2010-05-29T10:42:00.001-04:00

This made me laugh so hard I almost peed my pjs. This despite how, well, familiar poor Mr. Hall's plight is.

For bonus video-watching points, see if you can catch a glimpse of Dana Cameron, the fabulous Janet Reid's excellent client.

rejection rejection of the day

2010-05-20T17:10:00.000-04:00

An editor friend got a letter in the mail. It was a rejection letter she had sent to an author, and was annotated thusly:

~~~

[Note, typed, from my friend to the author:]

Dear [REDACTED],

We have already* considered and turned down your submission. Unfortunately, I just don't think that your writing is a good fit for us. I wish you the best of luck.

Sincerely,
[MY FRIEND]

[Note, handwritten beneath it, from the author to my friend:]

Why didn't you guys tell me that you're a red bunch of communists! Who needs you here in the USA? I certainly don't! Go to Hell, the Red Hell!

Sincerely,
[REDACTED]

~~~

*The same manuscript was already considered and rejected three months earlier

Aww. So sweet.

How much does an agent cost?

2010-05-19T14:38:00.001-04:00

I got a note:

~~~
Hi Moonrat,
I have a book deal with a lovely indie publisher. I don't have an agent. *cowers and hides under table* I know you despise us little agentless authors *ducks further under table*, but I am a full-time school student, and I don't have the money to pay for an agent, either. I write because I love to write, I wasn't writing for the sake of getting published, but I was lucky and pleasantly surprised at the offer. Have you any suggestions (seeing as you also work in a small indie press) about publicity and selling your book? Also, what do independent publishers offer in terms of marketing strategies? *timidly peeks unagented head over desk* I'd much appreciate if you'd take the time to reply! Thank you!
Yours,
XXX

~~~
My dear, several notes:

1) I do not despise anyone, with the possible exception of Charles Dickens, who was just a real jerk to his poor first wife. But you might call that more of a personal grudge.

2) Agents do not cost money--you don't pay them anything at all up front. If an agent has told you they charge a fee, they are not a legitimate agent. You might find more information about heinous people on Preditors & Editors--pred-ed.com. Check 'em out. But REAL agents take a percentage of your earnings (15% in most cases) AFTER that agent has secured you a book deal (and sometimes other deals too). So, my friend, whichever agents were telling you to pay them for their services should be knuckled off your list in a great hurry.

3) Re: publicity and marketing: I shall save those ideas for tomorrow, as I just REALLY wanted EVERYONE to know that REAL AGENTS DO NOT COST MONEY UP FRONT (or at all, until there are earnings to be had).

I woke up this morning

2010-05-17T07:55:00.005-04:00

at 7:17 am. My alarm was set to go off at 7:30. But I woke myself up out of a very deep sleep (I mean, if the amount of drool on the pillow is some kind of sliding scale indication of how deep the sleep was). I was also in the middle of a very involved dream--a vivid dream, one that I remember all the details to (except, of course, how it ends, since I woke up--how frustrating!! I wonder what happened to that girl in my dream!).

I have no idea what startled me awake. But I do know it was some kind of miniature miracle (what do they call those? Stroke of good luck, maybe?) because if I hadn't woken up until my alarm went off, I probably would have finished the dream and exited REM and snoozed and woken up normally and that would have been the beginning of my day and the end, forever, of whatever happened inside my head last night (I'm a very clean dreamer--I never remember anything I dream, ever, unless I'm woken up in the middle of it). But my dream last night was SO UTTERLY AWESOME that instead of snoozing I waddled over to my computer and started setting down an outline based on the dream. It's the PERFECT story (well, sort of--I'm going to have to seriously edit my dream main character, since she was really credulous and unquestioning, like my dream main characters always are for some reason).

Alas now I have to go to work. But I wanted to share that I got hit by the muse. I thought if anyone could sympathize it would be you guys :)

various & assorted tasties

2010-05-14T21:57:00.002-04:00

Here's my roundup of interesting links I came across this week (as always, much Twitter crossover).

Writers' Coalition has announced an official Write Your @$$ Off Day, June 12th! You might recall we had an unofficial one back here. Anyone else wanna play? I think I'm in!

Author Alaya Johnson talks on John Scalzi's blog about her new book, Moonshine, and how vampires are actually a metaphor for historically oppressed minorities.

Sarah Weinman shared one author's take on the 10 most harmful novels for aspiring writers. (I add Twilight to the list--what do you guys think?)

Twilight sales have waaaay dropped suddenly (my guess is everyone just owns everything already, so there's nothing left to buy). But the point is, does this mean the door is open for the next phenomenon?

You thought English speakers took Harry Potter fan fic seriously--check out the level people take fan fic to in China!

Our comrade INTERN anagrams the names of the big publishing houses. This is awesome.

The Rejectionist points us to this excellent list of horrifying rejections, some of them quite nasty--and all of them sent to people who went on to become extremely famous.

Tomorrow is an editing day. My weekend work partner is coming over and we're going to kick butt. But in between butt kickings, we will be making these.

Happy weekend!

Drowning in the Title Pool

2010-05-11T08:40:00.003-04:00

I got a note:

Hi Moonrat,

I'm almost done with rewrites on a novel, getting ready to send it to agents. I noticed recently on Publishers Marketplace that another book (same genre) with the same working title just sold to a big house. I know titles are fluid and by the time it gets to print, the title on the PM book might have changed. Or if I sell my book, the title could change. My question is: should I come up with a new working title before sending it out, if only to avoid confusion from agents/editors who may have considered the PM book? ("Didn't I just see this?") I'm reluctant to do it, because it fits so well with the book, but I don't want someone to pass, thinking they've looked at it already.

Thoughts?

Great question! A variation of this titling issue happens to a lot of people--you know, having the perfect title for your book and then realizing there are a host of outside circumstances working against your using that perfect title.

Honestly, as an editor, I remember stuff like that (if I've seen a book by the same title, I know instantly, even if the first submission was a project that went no further than my desk). I don't think I find repeat titles offputting per se, but I definitely remember. This is relevant in your case because since it's the same genre you might be submitting to the same editors.

That said, I got a book into production that had the same title (same genre, slightly similar plots) as another book at a much, much larger company. We had both announced our deals in PW, and just missed each other through neglect. At the last minute, the big house called me and tried to bully me into changing my title--but we were already close to press, and so we won (they had to change). There is no moral to this story, really; it only proves that it could come about that no one ever notices your title match.

But I think to be safe it would be a good exercise for you to think of a second-choice title and submit under that. Just in case someone is anal (and editors, as a career discipline, often are). Besides, as you point out yourself, retitling is something that often happens for marketing reasons, so if you've already spent some time thinking of second- and third-choice titles before you submit, you'll be prepared to have a great conversation about your options later.

things the rally monkey says

2010-05-09T22:24:00.002-04:00

[We're watching 27 Dresses, as YT is a romcom fan.]

RM: Can they make a sequel called 28 Dresses, where Kevin Doyle realizes he's a cross-dresser?

Is What It Is Ism (Or Why You Must Be Your Own Evil Drill Sergeant)

2010-05-07T10:30:00.002-04:00

Here is a conversation that is, in some variation, overheard in publishing houses everyday:

Publisher: How's the edit on that John/Jane Smith book?

Editor: Well, John/Jane has sent back his/her responses to my edits. I mean, we did a ton of work--it's much better than the first draft. But s/he didn't really go as far with the second plot line/character development/cultural details as I was hoping.

Publisher: That's a shame.

Editor: It really is a shame. I just... I had really high hopes for this book, but I'm not sure I can get the author to really get it up to 100% of what it could be. I can take the time to do another round of edits, but then we might miss our to-production date.

Publisher: Nah, let's just push it forward. It is what it is.

~ ~ ~

What's your reaction to that phrase, "is what it is"? Does it go blithely buy you as an everyday-ism? Does it strike terror in your heart? Or a little bit of both?

The first time I heard the expression "It is what it is" I was an editorial assistant. I admit my first response was, "Oo, what a cool phrase!" I think subconsciously I had already realized that sentence would be an out-clause, the secret to writing off any editorial changes I would be too exhausted with a book to make. But of course, it's also an ugly sentence--it means we're giving up and moving on. And you know what? At some point it is said about just about every project.

The point I want to make today is about vigilance of craft. Creativity is exhausting. When you're working on a novel, there comes a point during writing, or rewriting, or editing, or re-editing, or hearing back the nitpicky bits from your crit group or agent or editor for the eight millionth time, when you just say "Ug, can I be done with this? I'll fix it later, or someone else can, if they really have a problem with it."

But the thing is, you can't count on anyone to fix anything later. When your editor sends you edits, you may be so sick to death of staring at your manuscript that you do the bare minimum to address the comments and then send that sucker right back. But then your editor may also have run out of steam, will have some version of the above conversation with her publisher, and everyone will move forward with the book as it is--in a permutation that will get slightly worse reviews than it might have received if we'd all pushed it a little harder, will therefore sell slightly fewer copies than it might have, etc.

We ALL run out of steam--writers, editors, proofreaders, marketers, publicists. The best professionals in any sector of the industry are the ones who fight it out a couple more rounds before throwing up their hands. Since you can't guarantee that anyone else who will be working on your book at any other stage will have the time, energy, and bandwidth to give it their all to the bitter end, you, the author, would do yourself a favor by not being the lazy one.

I'm writing this post today because earlier this week I was visiting a friend at her office and overheard one of her colleagues give an "Is what it is" speech. It made me realize these occurrences aren't rare--they're pretty universal. So the moral of this story is, fight the good fight, at every stage of the game. Write, re-write, re-re-write, and edit, then edit again, then re-edit again before you even THINK about submitting to agents. Then do it all over again. And over again.

In the words of Jason Nesmith, "Never give up! Never surrender!"

Cinco de Mayo cultural disconnect

2010-05-05T09:39:00.002-04:00

So we ALL know Cinco de Mayo. I raise a mole enchilada to Mexico's victory over French forces in 1862.

However, apparently yesterday, May 4th, is a different kind of holiday for different people. I think of the May 4th Movement in China, where students fomented a revolution.

I have learned from certain people that others celebrate Star Wars Day--as in, May the 4th be with you.

Who would you guess wins on Google (in terms of top-ranking searches), Star Wars fans, or all of China?

Anyway. Mole enchilada!

cool things I found while catching up on my Google reader

2010-05-03T22:20:00.004-04:00

(If you follow me on Twitter, you might have already seen some of these)

Got sucked into any good books lately? A couple visuals to make your day.
(via The Undomestic)

NYT on the (re)new(ed) movement to document rare and endangered languages. Lingistic enthusiasts, you'll love this--who knew there may be as many as 800 languages spoken in New York, including languages that are no longer spoken anywhere else in the world? (via Ellen W)

The 100 best Arabic books (in English), according to the Arab Writers Union. I'm 0 for 100. Clearly this is a language whose translations I need to explore more. (via Lit Saloon)

Booklist's Bill Ott talks about the mysteries he recommends to people who say they hate mysteries. I personally recommend Yiddish Policemen's Union, by Michael Chabon, especially to fans of sci fi and/or literary fiction. What would your answer(s) be? (I'm particularly interested in the genre bias here--there are great mysteries in every genre.)

Finally, my dad sent me this website: Demotivators. What can I say. Mission accomplished.

a beautiful weekend for good news!

2010-05-02T10:39:00.003-04:00

The lovely Bernita Harris has signed a deal with Harlequin's Carina Press for her urban fantasy, Dark and Disorderly, a Lillie St. Clair adventure. Congratulations, Bernita! And let me know the second it's up for pre-order on Amazon :)

procrastinatory Villanelle

2010-05-01T11:08:00.002-04:00

How sad to be stuck inside today
A desk-bound bun-wearing red-lining recluse
Saturday editing this lovely morn in May

for once, the weather's going my way!
blossoms unfurling, sunlight diffuse
How sad to be stuck inside today

my cold winter edits are inspired, I'd say
but with sun shining outside, I feel obtuse
Saturday editing this lovely morn in May

in Central Park's green grass I'd lay
and frolic amongst squirrels, fawns, and moose
How sad to be stuck inside today

my aching eyeballs tear away
o! how they suffer such wretched abuse
Saturday editing this lovely morn in May

That's what I've written this Villanelle to say
Might my time be put to better use?
How sad to be stuck inside today
Saturday editing this lovely morn in May

just finished reading

2010-04-28T22:48:00.001-04:00

Wildwood Dancing, by Juliet Marillier. WOW that was good. My review here. Anyone else read it? Any thoughts?

awol

2010-04-25T09:28:00.001-04:00

As you may have guessed already from my several weeks of sporadic posting, I got slammed with a ton of deadlines and am going a little buggy.

I hope to be back here with interesting things soon. Thanks for your patience.

things the rally monkey says

2010-04-24T09:25:00.002-04:00

[The RM and I are with a group of people trying to pick out a restaurant in the West Village. We pass a place that's all shuttered.]

YT: Oh dang! That's the place I wanted us to go. Now it's closed! That's so sad!

RM: If that restaurant were your mouth, it would still be open.

Wheel of Time geeks ahoy

2010-04-21T23:24:00.002-04:00

Via my dear friend Kelly, this most excellent link to the fan discussion of who you would cast if there were to be a Wheel of Time movie (series, obviously).

PLEASE leave me your casting suggestions :)

adventures in book reviewing

2010-04-20T08:21:00.001-04:00

Yesterday, I had an adventure.

I arrived home to discover a a sticky note posted to the outside of the doorbell box outside my apartment's foyer. It was a UPS delivery attempt note--third and last attempt; the package would be returned to sender the next day. There was no name on the sticky, but it was left for Apartment 7. There's no apartment 7 in my building. There are several apartments with 7 in their number--like mine, 73--so on the off-chance it was mine, I called the number on the back.

This is how I learned what UPS's excellent strategy for handling missed deliveries is--unlabeled sticky notes on the outdoor call boxes of buildings, regardless of wind or weather. I'm not REALLY surprised I didn't catch notes for the first or second attempt. But whatever.

So yes, in short, the package was addressed to one Moon Rat (like, not my real name, actually "Moon Rat"). My options for obtaining the package were to pay $6 to arrange another delivery (which I also wouldn't be there to intercept, since I have, you know, commitments not in my apartment during UPS delivery options), to pick it up at the local UPS store, or to let it be returned to the sender.

I inquired about the location of the UPS store in question--it was in an area of the Bronx I had never heard of. Also, I'd have to go at night, after 7:30, when the truck had returned to the yard. I looked at Google and noted the many highways and abandoned lots around this UPS store address. Hmm, wandering around alone in the dark in the Bronx in order to retrieve a package addressed to someone who doesn't actually exist (what would happen if I got there and they required photo ID? Hmm, irritating).

I was going to just let the package go back--what the heck was it, anyway?! I wasn't expecting anything!--but the Rally Monkey major guilt-tripped me, saying this was disrespectful to the person who had sent it. At first I snorted off this logic, but then it started to sink in, and I found myself glumly climbing on the train (I had to transfer THREE TIMES to get there!).

I won't go into too much detail about my escapade (summary: I got lost. A lot. I walked 20 minutes in the wrong direction. It was not a residential area, but there were tons of abandoned lots, warehouses, cars zooming by, and bridges with clumps of two or three people standing under them as if someone were PAYING them to look shady. And it was cold, and dark, and when I finally got to UPS they were totally disorganized, and I had to wait for an hour with all the other cold, lonely, angry people who had been wandering around lost in Co-Op City trying to find UPS). But let me assure you, it was AWESOME. The best part was that the guy at UPS didn't ask for photo id like he was supposed to. If he had protected my privacy, I would have thrown a stink fit.

In the end, the package was a review copy of a book I hadn't requested on a topic I'm not very interested in; the publicist had enclosed a brief note requesting I consider it for review on my blog. I'm a little curious about where the sender got my address; I've given it out in the past (there's not much I won't do for free stuff), but did I make some kind of mailing list? And then why would they pay to send it UPS?

I tell you this nattering story because it's a bizarrely New York story (I think anywhere else you could just DRIVE to the UPS store). Also, because it raises some practical issues. How does one freakin' get one's mail?! USPS is no good, either, since the post office by me is only open Monday to Friday, 10 - 5. What, am I going to take a day off to get mail?! And for at least 100 reasons, I do NOT want to be receiving stuff at work.

What IS the answer?!

things the rally monkey says

2010-04-18T12:33:00.002-04:00

[The RM's baby nephew turns 2 today.]

RM: I'll get him a nice toy. He likes things that move on their own.

YT: Of course he does. Everyone likes things that move on their own.

RM: I don't.

YT: Oh really? Then what do you keep me around for?

RM: When do you ever move on your own?

women in fantasy literature

2010-04-17T09:40:00.002-04:00

Have you guys heard about the Sirens festival? It's a (pretty new, but rocking) annual conference in Vail, Colorado that is dedicated to women in fantasy--women authors of fantasy and the representation of women in fantasy novels. (Each year, there's a theme--this year it's faeries.) If you're in for a weekend in Colorado October 7-10, keep this possibility in mind--it sounds like one heck of a party.

I'm as interested in the conference as I am because a friend of mine keeps talking about it. The extraordinary Faye, who has spent the last three months patiently teaching me about fantasy and Young Adult literature, attended last year (here's her write-up of her experience) and got so involved that she's on the board this year.

The conference draws a range of authors, from emerging authors to really heavy hitters (last year, Kristin Cashore and Tamora Pierce... this year, Holly Black and Marie Brennan, among others.) According to Faye, there was some really extraordinary programming, panel discussions, etc.

For more information about this year, see here. They are still accepting proposals, so if you're a faery expert and have an idea for programming, check this out. For yet more info, Faye tells me there's a live chat from 2-4 pm today EST here, if you want to ask any questions of the organizers.

I am very, very interested in the conference, both as a reader and as an acquisitions editor. I have never been to Colorado but am very seriously considering. I'd like to hear stories from anyone who's ever been before. Also, please let me know if you're planning on going! This offers great blogfriendmatchmaking potential.

the editing song is stuck in my head today

2010-04-15T16:39:00.003-04:00

It goes:

Chop, chop, choppity chop
Cut off the bottom and cut off the top
What you have left, you throw to the cop-
y editor
Chop, chop, choppity chop

Have you heard it before? CUZ I'M SINGING IT LOUD RIGHT NOW!!

daily wisdom from the production department

2010-04-14T21:44:00.001-04:00

Production Manager: In publishing, some people are Type A. The others are Type A+.

curses! the nefarious Kiersten White has foiled my best intentions!

2010-04-13T08:05:00.002-04:00

I was supposed to be on editorial lockdown all week, and instead I haven't wanted to do anything but read the galley of Paranormalcy *someone* (Kiersten White. That's who it was. I'm just going to come out and say it so that everyone can heckle her) sent me! Unfortunately I am LITERALLY unable to concentrate on my life until I know what happens. Evil, evil, evil.

Too bad no one else gets to read it until September. Nyuk.

You knocked this one out of the park, Kiersten. And to think, we knew you "when."

just finished reading

2010-04-12T17:12:00.000-04:00

The Samaritan's Secret, by Matt Beynon Rees--detective fiction set in Palestine. Actually, I finished last week and forgot to post. Woops. My review here. Anyone else read? Any thoughts?

morning links

2010-04-12T07:21:00.002-04:00

NY Mag article about the publisher who almost got JD Salinger's last novel.

If you're tired of LOLCats, don't click here, but this made me laugh really hard.

Ok, that's actually it for now. Happy Monday!

things the rally monkey says

2010-04-11T22:52:00.002-04:00

RM: Your blog has totally jumped the shark lately. You need to write more about me.

[All right, Mr. Modest.]

weekend update

2010-04-10T06:51:00.002-04:00

Woosh, deadlines deadlines yadda yadda... So sad to be torn away from blogging. Can't resist some small, quick blogging.

First, I found this most excellent: Are you ready to be published? Consult this insanely detailed poster! (via zarahruth)

Second, how crazy is this? Huffington Post listed me on their 50 Best Book People to Follow. Like, I'm on a list of only 50 people that starts with Neil Gaiman and includes JK Rowling. As Shaggy would say, like, woah. But I'll take it! Here's the photo evidence. Now I have to figure out how to entertain all my new followers (alas, you old-timers spoiled me with all your easy-to-pleaseness).

Third, apparently this is what a condor looks like. I never knew. Strangely magnificent, in an understated way...

Fourth and finally (for now), classic Ed Ass Moment of Sap (so stop reading if you're not into such things). Today is a Celebrating Good Karma day in the Rat world. Something awesome happened recently for one of my books, and something awesome happened for me personally (besides HuffPo, crazily--I told you it's been a busy week). Selfishly, I believe this is because I have been working hard to help awesome things happen for other people and their books--an example of paying it forward paying it back. But giving (entire) credit where credit is due, I realize my good fortune comes about because I have some really fantastic friends. I am touched and amazed by what people have been willing to do on my behalf, and what they accomplished together. I have to thank them separately, but in the meantime, Tasty Hand-Pulled Noodles.

Happy Saturday!

good news!

2010-04-07T12:44:00.003-04:00

Happy Wednesday! (And boy is it!) I'm still too busy to blog, but Mischief people are not to busy to have awesome news!

First, Natasha Solomons's debut novel was released in the UK (where it is called MR ROSENBLUM'S LIST) by Sceptre on April 1st! The US release date is June 21 (Reagan Arthur books is publishing it under the title MR ROSENBLUM DREAMS IN ENGLISH). I've asked Natasha if she'll do a guest post in June, and she's offered to talk about generating word-of-mouth publicity for novels.

Second, Caroline Starr Rose's middle grade novel-in-verse, MAY B, sold to Nicole Geiger at Tricycle! It's releasing Fall 2011. (I just noticed Caroline is represented by my friend Michelle Humphrey--now I'm doubly excited about this deal!)

Two people to congratulate! Keep the good news comin', folks :)

blah

2010-04-05T22:48:00.002-04:00

I have fallen into a tornado of due dates (mixed metaphor? I can't even tell anymore). If I'm around here a little less, please forgive.

Harper Studio

2010-04-03T00:28:00.001-04:00

This makes me very, very sad.

It's late at night, but we can discuss in greater detail tomorrow.

Ragtime

2010-04-01T23:18:00.002-04:00

Woops, I totally forgot I was supposed to have a bookclub about Ragtime. (I finished way early and then forgot about it.) Did anyone else read it? Want to talk about it?

favorite childhood book? (Your Questions...)

2010-04-01T06:15:00.000-04:00

Rebecca Knight asks, What was your favorite book growing up?

Anne of Green Gables. Or Island of Blue Dolphins. Or Rifles for Watie. Or anything by Judy Blume. Actually, I didn't have any friends as a child, so I read a lot back then. I also drove my mother crazy by re-reading books about 30 times.

Your turn. What's your favorite childhood book?

giveaway winner!

2010-03-31T23:06:00.002-04:00

The Rally Monkey has picked a winner, and that winner is Zoe Courtman! Zoe, email me at moonratty AT gmail DOT com and we'll chat.

I asked the RM how he picked the winner; apparently there was some kind of mystical counting he did amongst the names on the list. I dunno. He's a mystical guy.

Thanks so much to everyone who stopped by here yesterday, reposted, retweeted, etc. You made me feel very special. Also, doing this giveaway reminds me we haven't had a contest in a while. So if anyone has any contest ideas, let me know. I'm not good at thinking of them myself.

half a million and counting!

2010-03-30T16:14:00.003-04:00

Ed Ass got its 500,000th hit today. This makes me feel old and venerable.

Naturally, I wanted to celebrate. I mean, with you guys, since you made it happen. But how?! No one has yet invented a giant internet pie.

Jamie Harrington, clever thing, had the idea that I have a giveaway contest, the prize being a first 20 pages crit. So that's what it is! I'll give away one crit of a book's first 20 pages (size 12 font, double spaced, .5 margins for you sneaky sneakies out there).

You'll be automatically entered to win if you do any or all of the following things:

1) repost this on your blog

OR

2) retweet my Twitter announcement

OR

3) link to this post on Facebook (make sure you include @Moonrat in the post so I'm notified of it)

I'll close the contest at 11 pm EST tomorrow (March 31). The Rally Monkey will randomly select one winner without my input (as if I could make him listen to me, anyway).

Yay! I'm really excited now.

what makes a lead title? (Your Questions continued)

2010-03-30T06:38:00.002-04:00

Anonymous asks, I would be curious to know how lead titles are chosen in a season's releases. I have an internship which involves receiving insane numbers of advance/review copies and I'm always curious about the reasoning for some of them getting labeled lead releases.

A lead title might be picked for a number of reasons.

1) A huge advance was paid. Now the company is in a kind of "oh shit!" position. They have to make back the money they spent, so they have to throw down tons of support to get it extra attention. (This is one of the reasons your agent pushes for a bigger advance--not only because it's nice to have the cash in hand, but also because then the company is in theory fiscally bound to treat you as a serious investment.)

1a) Sometimes the billed lead title will be the book the editorial team is most excited about, even if it's not the one they paid the most for. Usually lead title billing is tied to money, but not always.

2) Because the book, for whatever reason, starts to get a lot of surprise attention from buyers and reviewers. This is an "emerging" lead title. Publishers are often a little off about which book on their list will be the MOST exciting, and sometimes there's a sleeper hit. Actually, from my experience I've found there's at least one sleeper hit in every list--ie a book the publisher slightly underestimated. If the book emerges relatively early (before galleys go out), stuff will get relabeled accordingly.

All this said, some publishers just sticker everything with "lead title" in hopes that it will get buzz attention. That means (I'm pretty sure) that everyone just kind of ignores it all, and pays attention to what they feel like.

So. Was this helpful, or depressing?

how do I get into publishing? (Your Questions continued)

2010-03-29T06:31:00.000-04:00

Casey Leigh asks, Publishing question: What does it take to break into publishing? I have at least two years office experience and at least two years reporting experience and yet I get nothing in response to my resume. I've honestly applied to at least 50-75 editorial assistant type positions. Any advice?

So a long, long time ago (almost three years ago!), I posted these basic rules for breaking into the publishing industry as a professional.

For the most part, the rules haven't changed, although we were hit really, really hard by the economic crisis, especially since we were already going through a lot of turmoil over the rise of digital media. This means that it's a little more difficult to get a job at all now. It's taking a little longer (sometimes much longer) for entry-level candidates to actually break in.

That's the bad news. There's good news, too. The good news is that although I stick to my guns that the plan above (doing an unpaid internship, working in a bookstore, networking) is a good one, I have had the opportunity over the past three years to see people make transitions from a bunch of other industries into publishing, and at every level, not just entry. I've also noticed more fluidity among departments than I had been taught to think there was. My advice during this time is to be open to opportunities even if they aren't quite what you had in mind. If you're dead-set on editorial, consider marketing or publicity or sales--or vice versa.

There are many paths to your dream, I guess is the short answer, and if you really, really want to work in publishing, keep plugging.

personal questions! woohoo

2010-03-26T13:36:00.000-04:00

Sarahlynn asks, Given your demanding job and cravings for wonderful foods, how do you attain moderation? I picture Moonrat curled up reading a book or hunched over a manuscript, constantly sipping hot tea. I don't picture Moonrat running and sweating on a little rodent wheel. Just trying to clarify the picture. Is Moonrat a gym rat?

No gyms for this Ass! Blech. I tried that gym thing once a long time ago. It ended in a two-year contract I paid for but never used. Icky. I do go to yoga once a week (or have been lately), and I'm lucky enough to live by one of Manhattan's darling parks, where I go running with the Monkey two or three times a week.

However, I don't want to give you the false hope that I have "attained" any of that "moderation." The days I run are merely days I can eat MORE ice cream.

Rebecca Knight asks, If it's not too personal, how did you and the RM meet? *rachel* wanted to know this, too.

Official story, or unofficial story?

Official story: In a cafe*. I was tapping away on my laptop** and he sat down and offered to buy me tea***. We decided to go to a poetry reading together$ and then he bought me a chocolate cake$$ and we have been together ever since$$$.

For the unofficial story, please insert the following at the relevant *s.

* where I was waiting for his best friend, whom I was dating at the time
** looking very upset because his friend was very late and I was feeling stood up
*** because I looked like I was going to kill somebody
$ as friends; he even asked his buddy's permission first
$$ because clearly he had ignoble intentions the entire time
$$$ he's not friends with that guy anymore.

just finished reading

2010-03-26T00:00:00.001-04:00

Chinatown Beat, by Henry Chang. My review here. Anyone else read it? Any thoughts?

Oh yeah, also, last week I read Housekeeping, by Marilynne Robinson, and forgot to cross-post on this blog (here's the review). Sorry! But apparently there are some excited Robinson fans out here!

male or female MCs? (Your Questions continued)

2010-03-25T06:30:00.002-04:00

Midori asks, Have you acquired more books with male leads, female leads, or an even number of both? What MCs that are children versus teenagers verses young adults?

Midori, your question called for some personal reflection, and the answer is maybe a little horrifying--with only one exception, the novels I have acquired have had female main characters.

Put that way, it seems grossly unfair. However, I think that if you line up all the editors in the world and take a collective total, the gap would shake out. I tend to be more interested in a genre that is described either as "women's fiction" or "women's literary fiction"--not because I'm trying to be interested in it as a genre, but because most of the books I'm personally interested in tend to fall under those descriptions when they are sold into categories and bookstores. There are, obviously, specialists in other genres.

As for age, most of my main characters have been adults. Again, same logic as above.

So now I turn the question on you--what percentage of the books you READ would you say have main characters of your own sex?

I was extremely efficient today and answered several questions.

2010-03-24T06:25:00.003-04:00

The rules for this section: if you comment, you must answer each of the following three questions, just like I have. Thank you.

Claire Dawn asks, If you could visit anywhere in the world, where would you go and why?

Well, in no particular order except how they occur to me:

Turkey--because I've been their once and it totally brainwashed me. Wildly beautiful and convolutedly historical all at once. Slurp.

Syria--because I'd love to visit all the ancient cities there. I want to see Israel for the same reason, but I hear you can only go to either Syria or Israel on one American passport. Is that a rumor? But hey, as long as this is hypothetical and not necessarily routed in realistic ability, I might as well throw in Baghdad. So many historical places I'll probably never see :(

China--because I've never been. Chinese history has been perhaps my major reading topic since I was about 8 years old, and yet somehow it's never happened.

Japan--because I haven't been in eight years. On the other hand, getting over my Japan addiction, I suffered many symptoms of withdrawal I have heard associated with kicking a heroin addiction. So maybe I should leave that one alone.

As you may have gathered, and country full of Olde Things would do just mightily.

Ulysses asks, What's up with groundhog day? I mean, if a groundhog sees his shadow, we know there's going to be 6 more weeks of winter? Why don't we just look up at the sky? If it's cloudy, we won't see any shadows either. There's no need to go rousting a rodent out of bed just for a weather report. I know that if Puxatawney Phil were like my dad, waking him up from a nap would be something we'd only ever have the courage to do once... and only if his den were on fire. So here's my question: Which is better -- spaghetti with meat balls or spaghettini with pesto?

Ulysses, a valid question, I allow, but in my family we shun both of those pasta options in favor of cavatelli (little fat gnocchi-like cocoons with fresh ricotta kneaded into the pasta dough). Being total heathen gentiles, we usually eat this in a pork-based home-stewed tomato sauce.

Jjdebenedictis asks, Given a choice between deep-fried, crispy saltiness or creamy, decadent sweetness, which would you eat?

SALTY FRIED! If you had asked me as recently as two years ago, I would have emphatically chosen the other. But I guess now in my old age I just crave salt more. (Either that, or my body has cleverly noticed the trend of 100% of my family members to develop pre-diabetes and is trying to save me from myself. Either way, pass the fish & chips!)

Ok, now your turn.

1) Where would you visit and why?
2) How do you take your pasta?
3) Sweet or salty?

..why? (Your Questions continued)

2010-03-23T06:23:00.001-04:00

Catdownunder reasonably asks, Having read all these...why do you do this? :-)

I'm addicted to blogging. That's why.

They say, though, that the first step is admitting you have a problem...

linked short stories--still uncool? (Your Questions continued)

2010-03-22T18:16:00.000-04:00

Ashley A asks, Do linked short stories still make you really fucking mad?

Ashley found this post of mine, from almost three years ago. Re-reading it, I remember how furious I was that day I wrote that.

Ashley, to answer your question, no, linked short story collections don't make me angry anymore. In fact, now I read them for fun. I personally don't love them as much as novels--I find it's too easy for me to disengage after one story ends, whereas I have an OCD compulsion to finish a novel--but I have read some really great ones in the last year. Some examples that spring to mind are Joan Silber's Size of the World, Jhumpa Lahiri's Unaccustomed Earth, and Elizabeth Strout's Olive Kitteridge.

In terms of acquisitions, I think the climate has changed lately in favor of short stories. They are still a very, very difficult sell, but hey, so are debut novels (to be fair, story collections are still harder). But Strout's Pulitzer in 2008 and Lahiri's unprecedented debut as #1 on the NYT list the same year have made publishers and readers both realize they don't need to think of the short story as a strictly hoity-toity genre. A friend of mine predicted the Era of the Short Story is still to come--in a couple years, she thinks, there will be even more marketing and award attention for them. I guess we'll see.

So I'll throw this out to the blogosphere. Do you guys read short stories? Do you buy collections of them?

Do you ever get pissed that people just don't get it that most things need more butter and more salt? Is there anything that can't be made even better with salt and butter? I'm serious. Thank you.

I can't think of a single thing. The other day, the RM taught me to put butter and salt in my oatmeal. SO DELICIOUS.

The End of Publishing

2010-03-21T21:49:00.001-04:00

Watch this video. It'll make your day. (Full disclosure: I cried.)

return of The Aunda (Your Questions continued)

2010-03-19T05:28:00.002-04:00

Merry Monteleone's question was more of a statement: I'd like an Aunda story.

Well, Merry, you asked for it. The Aunda has been up to some serious hijinx lately; it's just that I've been censoring stories. You'll see why.

For those of delicate temperaments, please be advised that the Aunda is my extremely raunchy 88-year-old Italian great aunt. She does not play by any rules and she does not care what you think. (For those who would like an illustrative portrait, here she is showing off her zucchini crop.)

So consider yourself duly warned.

Why There Are So Many Divorces These Days (Conjugal Advice from the Aunda)
My brother's girlfriend and I were sitting around the kitchen table a couple weekends ago, listening to the Aunda tell us stories about her childhood and her first years in America, when she was in her twenties. For several years, she worked at a coffee pot factory on the assembly line. She learned something at that factory.

"Do you know," she told us, "if you look at how big is a man's nose"--here she had to lean in and lower her voice so my uncle, who was sitting in the next room, wouldn't hear--"you can see how big is the, the," and here she gestured crotch-ward.

BGF and I looked at each other with shiny bald eyeballs. "How big is the what, Aunt Con?" I asked.

"The man-part," she said. "You can tell how big, if you look at how big is the nose." She knows all about how we modern girls are concerned with penis size.

"Aunt Con!" I said in my best scandalized voice. "How do you know?"

"Oh, no me," she said, waving. "My friend, she tell me."

"But how did SHE know?!"

"Oh, she KNOW," the Aunda said.

My brother's girlfriend is unhelpfully sitting by in fits of giggles.

[I should interject at this point that she refers to my brother's girlfriend as his wife, and to the RM as my husband (including labeling food/care packages for me with his last name), because of the cohabitation problem. The RM and I had lived together for more than than three years before she found out; she bullied me into admitting it to her, saying "I no mind, I know gyals today live with their boyfrien," and that I shouldn't be afraid to tell her the truth. Not being a great liar, I confessed, at which point she proceeded to burst into tears and weep that no one would marry me now. Awkward.

"What about my brother?" I asked her. "He lives with his girlfriend!"

She answered, "And no one will marry that girl now, either!"

"What were you thinking?" my mother asked me later, when this irrupted into yet another fight at the dinner table. "Why didn't you just lie to her?" There we go. My mother is a proponent of lying to my 88-year-old aunt. And I can't say she's morally incorrect. Not that my moral standpoint is any good anymore.]

"You know," she went on, "sometimes ladies, they leave their husband because they want it bigger. When I got married, we no get divorce. We stay married, good, bad. Now, people get divorce all the time."

BGF and I nodded dutifully. We'd heard about that, too.

"You know why so many divorce?" She had to lean in again for this. "Sometimes, the man, you know, he wants the wife to put the man-part in her mouth."

BGF and I looked at each other in horror again. The Aunda took this as a good sign.

"Of course, the wife, she no want to put it in her mouth. So the husband, he divorce and find a new wife who does that."

"That's... that's awful," I choked out.

"Disgusting, some men," she went on. "They want to put it in the mouth." She made a face to show us what she thought of that. "Or they want to put it other places. In il cul'. Or here!" At this point she gestured to her armpit. I can say this is the moment in which the conversation became truly educational, for I, with my fancy college degree, had never heard of that particular act before.

I think that's about all the Aunda news I can bear to put down at present. Maybe next time, I'll tell you a kitchen story, like about how she tried to teach me to make meatballs, or the time she made me make her French toast "my way" (I'll give you a hint: neither story has a happy ending).

book into movie? (Your Questions continued)

2010-03-18T06:25:00.003-04:00

SM Schmidt asks, Which book have you read recently (or all time favorite) that you would fangirl scream if made into a movie?

Can I make a list?

Too bad, I'm making one anyway.

1) Robert Jordan's The Wheel of Time, in general. Obviously I will be hideously disappointed with whatever movie is made from the series, but that doesn't mean I'm not DYING to see it (and perhaps be cast as an extra in it). Good news is they've announced it. I wish they would consider a miniseries, though, instead of a feature film. In fact, Perhaps they should consider 14 miniseries. Producers, if you need advice, my brother and I have worked out an excellent plan of how you might break the books up into good episodes. No, literally, we did. We even wrote it down. So just let me know.

2) Marlon James's The Book of Night Women. The book was just so cinematic. Then again, I'm not sure any movie could do justice to this awesome book.

3) Anything by Lisa See. Perhaps Snow Flower and the Secret Fan would be the best place to start. I think her stories (even without the narrative backdrop of her beautiful writing) can touch just about anyone who's exposed to them, and again, her careful research has made her books very cinematic.

Also, exactly 5 books that I've edited that haven't yet been optioned. I can make great cases for each of them. Sigh. Alas I can't make those cases here. But jsut keep me in mind if you ever have a film production company.

do I really want to be published? (Your Questions continued)

2010-03-17T06:28:00.003-04:00

Magolla asks, Why isn't anyone sending you baby animal pics?? I need my fix.

This had indeed become a problem, but as you may have noticed, we rectified much of this last week: many people came to our assistance here.

Without your reminder, though, I wouldn't have thought to ask. So thank you.

And... Do I REALLY want to be published? Sometimes I wonder. . .

Now this is a really good question. I imagine you were asking in jest (or at least partly in jest), but I know it's a concern that weighs on authors' minds, and I will answer you seriously. My answer isn't for you, Magolla. It's for the several people reading right now who I know need to hear it. I hope when they read it they realize that I really, really wish them the best, and am saying this for their own good.

I have a very particular friend who is on the Submission Train right now. I've read this person's work, and it's pretty awesome. I'm 100% sure things will work out. However, the Submissions Train causes great anxiety in all those who get on board. I've seen my friend panic about non-responses, wonder if s/he should submit directly to publishers instead, wonder if s/he should self-publish, etc. This in spite of all my excellent advice (and my advice is very excellent!). My friend knows intellectually I'm correct, and looking out for his/her best interests, but that doesn't stop the panic of the Submissions Train. As an author, you have to wrestle down those crazy emotions. Otherwise, you will make silly decisions in your hurry and panic.

This is hard news to swallow, so I'm going to type it in boldface. It's better not to be published at all than to get published in an inferior way. Doors begin to close if you try to take shortcuts. Instead, take your time to do things right. Accept no compromises. You will be much unhappier with a published book that has gone awry than with an unpublished book that still has potential. I linked to this article recently, but I'm linking to it again--this is Aprilynne Pike's essay on why taking your time toward first publication is worthwhile (she knows, because she made good decisions--her debut hit #1 on the NYT bestseller list). So I'm not the only one who says this.

In short, your writing must not be contingent upon your getting published. Book publication is affected by many factors. A book may deserve to get published, but the market may be wrong. A book idea may be wonderful, but the execution may not be really up to snuff and need more work. The author may be a fantastic writer, but maybe this particular manuscript isn't the best book on its own, or maybe it's a good book but not a good debut. In all of these cases, if the author pushes, pushes, pushes for publication no matter what, they will damage both their future career as a writer and their relationship with their art.

"I must get published" fever hurts a lot of people. It causes people to do things in desperation that will hurt or limit their long-term options. My recommendation to authors--and I know this sounds much easier than it actually is--is to try to develop zen about your books. You write because you love to write. You continue to work on your projects, whatever they may be, because you want them to continue to improve. Some projects, however good they are, never need to see the light of day, because they've been stepping-stones on your road to self-development. They are what will train you to write the book that really matters.

So do you really want to be published? Only if you're published right. This means taking your time, being patient during all the long processes, and, above all, continuing to write no matter what. When the timing is right for you, it will be clear. As my mom says, if it's meant to be, it will be. In the meantime, I hope you're writing because it makes you happy.

what if a submission needs more work? (Your Questions continued)

2010-03-16T14:25:00.000-04:00

Keith Popely aks: On a variation on Caroline's question: what if you get a book you really don't want to reject, but it just needs more work? Is there some some sort of conditional acceptance? Or is it only reject or accept?

This happens all the time. It depends on how much work, exactly, is needed. I'm assuming you're talking about more work than I would normally anticipate doing in an edit. For some companies, this would be an immediate no-go, as many editors are only allowed to buy projects that are very close to publishable. For me, this usually isn't a problem. I'm an editing editor--all the companies I have worked for have allowed me to be a hands-on works-with-the-author-to-make-things-better kinda gal, which I really enjoy (secretly, I like editing better than acquisitions; shh, please don't tell). So as long as the revisions seem to be something the author is on board with and able to execute, there probably isn't a contract barrier.

As far as "conditional acceptance," yes indeed, that exists as a thing! First of all, "acceptance" itself is a contractual stipulation that protects the editor. Often, second advances are payable "on delivery and acceptance"--so the author doesn't get paid when s/he turns the finished manuscript in, but rather when the publisher accepts that manuscript as publishable. This provides the author with a fiscal incentive to work cooperatively with the publisher, as well as a means for publishers to take on not-quite-perfect books with less risk. (I realize my perspective here sounds very pro-editor as opposed to pro-author, but I honestly think conditional acceptance benefits both parties, since the editorial process can get really tiresome and emotional, so having the contractual real-world marker helps everyone keep the will and inspiration to create a better book.)

Sometimes--but pretty rarely--there will actually be a contractual clause specifying what makes the book acceptable (including a chapter/section on XX, etc). But this is really pretty rare. I've only seen it a couple times.

In the case that the project has great promise but there's some crucial piece missing/something about the premise that doesn't jive for me, something that my edit wouldn't be able to change or fix, or if the edits required are something I'm not sure the author could handle/execute (and in the cases of really substantial changes, how could I know if the author could edit well unless I'd worked with them before?), then I pass but tell the agent very specifically why in case the author plans to revisit. My usual line is to tell the agent good luck, Godspeed, etc, but if you don't sell the proposal as is and the author is willing to revise, will you come back to me? Usually agents are super-appreciative that you take time to give them any editorial feedback. I guess a lot of editors are just like "not for me" and that's that, but I figure if I put in the time to read the darn thing, why shouldn't someone benefit? And it it's the author/agent and not me who benefits from my work this time around, well hey, what goes around comes around, and that agent will remember I was helpful.

P.S. Got any good flu remedies? Ugh

Yes, Keith, I do! Actually, this is the Rally Monkey's mom's secret Filipino cure-all (in Italian-American culture, where I grew up, the cure-all was butter, but it's less applicable in this situation).

Go to the grocery store and buy a big ol' fresh ginger root. Take it home, peel or chop off the rough knobby pieces on the outside, and slice it up into small pieces (the more surface area, the better). Put all the pieces in a pot, fill the pot with water, and boil the heck out of it.

Not everybody likes fresh ginger (in fact some people hate it), so you can disguise the taste with as much or little honey as you choose. But I've found it really, really helps clear nasal passages, ease sore throat, and calm coughing. Also, it's an astringent, so I picture it doing battle in my tummy with all the evil germs. Plus, if you drink enough of it, it's a great way to stay hydrated. Many birds, one ginger root. You can keep loading on water and re-boiling; a root of ginger will yield a lot of flavor.

I'm currently on it myself, since it seems I have caught whatever nasty thing the RM brought home.

a goddess among women

2010-03-15T22:56:00.001-04:00

Wendy Cebula is my hero.

That is all I have to say at present. Except that she is also the Rally Monkey's hero.

what's a standard submission process like? (Your Questions continued)

2010-03-14T22:23:00.005-04:00

Caroline Starr Rose asks: I'd love to hear more about the submission process. Say an agent has just sent you a manuscript. Let's say you love it. Could you walk us through the editorial meetings, etc. that lead to the eventual sale?

The submissions process varies by company (and by barometric pressure, and by how many days it is since the last lunar eclipse, etc). However, I can tell you specifically how submissions worked at two companies I have worked for, one very large and corporate, the other very small and independent.

Again, this is only based on my specific experience, and has nothing to do with how other companies acquire.

LARGE AND CORPORATE

1. Project is received from agent and logged in.

2. Editorial assistant reads, writes report, and either advocates it or doesn't to her boss, the editor.

3. The editor listens to ed. ass. (or totally disregards everything she's said, either way) and decides to bring the proposal to ed board meeting. 24 hours before the ed board meeting, the editor announces the book by listing it on the meeting's agenda minutes and by distributing to all the other meeting attendees (editors, publishers, a couple marketing folk) a sample packet of about 15 pages so they can read it the night before the meeting and come to the meeting with coherent opinions. This packet is about 15 pages, includes sample text from the submitted book, a detailed analysis of competitive/related titles, including their recent sales records (meticulously compiled by the ed ass), and a memo from the editor explaining why s/he digs this proposal, what successful book it tastes like to them, what they envision the company being able to do with it, etc.

4. The next day, ed board assembles, everyone ostensibly having done the shared reading the night before (often, this could take hours, depending on how many editors are presenting how many books). At ed board, people do everything they can to rip a book to shreds, find every possible pothole in the publication road. This isn't because they hate books--on the contrary, it's because they need to have every kink ironed out if they want to be able to proceed. At the meeting, the publisher will tell the editor one of the following three things:

A) no go--drop it
B) there's something there, but X, Y, and Z needs to be resolved before we can go any further
C) let's pursue this

If A: well, that's the end. The editor calls the agent back and makes an excuse about why. (Sometimes it's the real reason we're passing, sometimes it's not. We can't always reveal our secrets.)

If B: The editor calls the agent and brings up all the concerns. This has some risks to it, because once you've done this, the agent can (without lying) start calling all the other editors who have the project and say "we've had some real interest on this; at least one editor has already brought it to ed board," and they may find a home for the project without you. If that happens, well, as my mother says, it wasn't meant to be. But if your concerns are sound and legitimate (and the agent is a good business person), the agent will do everything s/he can to try to resolve them or answer questions. Then, next week, or whenever the issues are resolved, you come back to ed board and update them at the weekly meeting. Most projects fall into this category; that's why we always have ongoing meeting minutes with projects that roll along week after week.

If C: the editorial assistant scrambles to put together even more comprehensive information about competition, marketing, author platform, projected packaging ideas and expenses, etc. This comprehensive packet is circulated to some important people who make financial decisions for a quote of how much can be spent on this particular project. The editor takes this quoted number and offers it to the agent--if the agent accepts, there's a book deal. If not, it means the agent and the publisher don't see eye to eye on the book's potential, and there is no deal.

SMALL AND INDEPENDENT

1) The editor reads a submitted book.

2) At an ed board meeting that might or might not have been announced beforehand, the editor (if she is prepared) presents the book she read by trying to sum it up into 20 words.

3) Based on those 20 words, the publisher will decide whether or not it's interesting. If it's not, that's the end of that. If it is, the publisher will grill the editor with every conceivable possibility of how the book could go wrong if the book were to be undertaken (sound familiar?). This grilling could last anywhere from 20 seconds to 3 hours (no joke).

4) If the publisher and others attending the ed board meeting come to the conclusion that the book is a worthwhile risk, a piece of paper is turned over by someone (or by everyone) in the room and on its back are executed a number of algebraic equations, based on mythical ideas of the profit and loss factors that might affect a book's sale and production. Based on what these brainiacs come up with (and sometimes based strictly on the barometetric pressure, how many days it's been since the last lunar eclipse, etc), some contractual terms are arrived at to offer the agent.

~~~~

The funny thing is that, having seen both systems, one of which is obviously clever, well thought-through, and organized, the other of which is basically bosh, I have to say that the accuracy of both sets of predictions is about equal. I think the moral of this story is that you never really know if a book is going to work until you know.

if you're a short story writer in the NY area...

2010-03-13T12:02:00.002-05:00

My friends over at One Story (the nonprofit lit mag, and the only magazine I subscribe to at present!) alerted me to a workshop they're doing this weekend and next. It's one-on-one short story coaching. I know this weekend sold out, but there are still a couple slots for next weekend (3/21).

By the way, if you like short stories, One Story is for you. Because it's nonprofit the subscription is really cheap ($21 for a year, 18 issues, within the US; a little more for international). Here's their mission statement, and here are their past authors/stories--check the rather high number of writers who go from One Story to Famous. For writers, notice they accept submissions September-June. If they're not on your radar yet, put them there! They're one of the top possible literary credentials a writer can have.

Ok, plug of the day. Have a happy rainy Saturday! Indoor activity suggestion: karaoke.

delicious tasty fan art for fellow Wheel of Time fans

2010-03-12T13:06:00.002-05:00

My brother found this guy's blog. Check out his incredible trading card-style renditions of WoT characters. These are better than any others I've ever seen, including the official ones.

He also did some alternate covers. Sweet. (That's a dork joke. The original cover designer's name is Darrell K Sweet. But I think these covers are super sweet.)

Ok. That's probably enough rabid fanism for today.

pastries, sushi, or chocolate? oh my! (Your Questions continued)

2010-03-12T07:35:00.000-05:00

Kiersten White asks: If you could only eat one of the three following things for the rest of your life, which would it be?

A) Pastries
B) Sushi
C) Chocolate

Sushi. Oh, I bet you were expecting to make some cutesy answer like I did in my FAQ. But no. Sushi. I'm in total withdrawal. I haven't had sushi since... JANUARY. For real. Just thinking about it makes my mouth ache.

Second question: If for some horrible reason you couldn't be an editor, what alternate career would you choose? So basically, in a horrific alternate universe in which Moonrat is not an editor, what is she?

So recently I've been OBSESSED with Turkey (the country, not the bird, although I've never been against a turkey sandwich). Part of me is constantly nurturing a secret desire to pack up all my bags and move to Turkey, where I could... I don't know. Teach English, maybe?

And finally: How bad do you hate hypothetical questions?

How bad do YOU hate it, Kiersten, when people answer one of YOUR questions with ANOTHER question?

what is a Moonrat? (Your Questions continued)

2010-03-11T08:26:00.003-05:00

[Kaitlyne asks, "Could you settle a bet for me? A friend insists that a moonrat is in fact a small rodent in the Erinaceidae family. I've told him before that it is obviously a lesser known god of the Egyptian underworld. He insists Wikipedia proves him right. Which one is it?"]

Kaitlyne, my dear, we must only pity those people who shield their eyes from the truth.

Actually, since this question of from whence my name derives has come up before, I will tell the True Story. Back when I first started blogging, my blogging buddy (there was only one at the time; we were very secretive) chose her favorite flavor of Naked Juice--Bluenana, which I believe had been discontinued--as her name. Wanting something equally opaque for myself, I gazed out my window and up at the moon. The visual stimulus reminded me of the cliche that the moon is made of cheese, which got me thinking about cheese (mm, cheese). And I thought about who would enjoy a GIANT BALL OF CHEESE more than anyone else? Well, a rat. Right? And if I were a moon cheese rat, I imagine I would be extremely happy. But "mooncheeserat" didn't have quite the same ring. So I dropped the middle bit.

Sexy, right? Was this story more or less silly than you thought it was going to be? (It's true, by the way; that literally was my thought process.)

self-images of YA protagonists

2010-03-10T14:20:00.000-05:00

So I asked this question on Twitter, but it occurred to me belatedly it's hard to have a coherent conversation on Twitter. Apologies to those who are seeing it twice.

Which kind of heroine do you think is better in YA fiction--one with a really positive self-image (to promote self-confidence in teen readers), or one with a flawed self-image (eg someone who has always felt like a misfit, who has never been labeled conventionally pretty, etc, to promote reader identification)?

I've been reading a lot more YA lately, and have found that in most books, protagonists are one or the other. I understand why this cliche comes up so frequently--heck, I sure felt like a misfit as a teen. But I wonder which kind of protagonist is psychologically healthier--or more interesting, while we're at it--for teenage girls.

Your thoughts? I'm calling today especially on my YA readers/writers crowd.

if I could only recommend one book... (Your Questions continued)

2010-03-10T08:26:00.003-05:00

[Briony asks, "If you could recommend one book to read, what would it be?"]

So in order to answer this question, I had to access my BookBook, which is my nerdy catalog of every book I've ever read since I was 15. What a treasure it is.

Woops, I just spent 45 minutes poring over my BookBook. Gee, thanks, Briony. Thpbpbp.

My final answer, and why: Autobiography of Red, by Anne Carson. This is a novel in verse that ostensibly re-creates part of the Hercules myth, the episode where Hercules slays the red monster Geryon. Only in Carson's retelling, Geryon, the little red monster, is an introspective photographer who falls in love with Hercules and who is slayed by a broken heart. My reasons? It is both rich and utterly surprising. Since it's poetry, and since Carson is a really capital poet, every word is beautiful--but at the same time, it's not at all as scary or boring as "novel in verse" sounds. I wouldn't say it's the easiest read in the whole wide world, but it is (to me at least) the most accessible poetry I've ever read, since it tells a story. I just think it's a really special book.

the weird and the wacky in publishing (Your Questions continued)

2010-03-09T08:26:00.002-05:00

[Beth asks, "What are the weirdest and funniest situations you've encountered while working in publishing?"]

Oh wow, Beth. You've given me an excuse for a favorite backlist link list.

This was my sleaziest experience in publishing. Lunch date gone gross.

Random skeezy authors aren't the only ones into Mad Men-esque gender roles, though. For example, there's Betty.

There was that awesome day I got Robert the Publisher's lecture on fearing fear itself. Tasty.

Getting your project idea stolen sucks, but it also inspires Shakespearean knock-off poetry.

At my company, we had Beach Day. Yes, just like in the office. Only it ended up drunk on high-end vodka at a Russian restaurant.

All anyone in the publishing industry does is tell one another crazy lies.

Just because publishing is a media industry doesn't mean we're on top of things. Like technology, which can be really horribly confusing.

But that's all ok. Weird, crappy stuff happened to Jane Austen when she tried to get published, too.

Sadly, not all authors are as cooperative and honest as Jane was. Sometimes they do crazy things that make their publicists smack their heads repeatedly against the wall.

But then again, so do some publishers. Check out this post, from FOUR years ago! Remember Judith Regan? She's some "weird and funny" stuff that happened in publishing.

Editorial, it turns out, is not a 9-5 job.

This doesn't have anything to do with publishing, really, except fonts. But it's definitely funny.

Ok, this has nothing to do with publishing at all. This is a story from back when the RM was still a car mechanic. But in going through my old posts I came across this and wanted to share it again.

Of course, the weirdest and funniest stories of all I can't blog about, sigh.

hypothetically speaking... (Your Questions continued)

2010-03-08T08:25:00.002-05:00

[Candyland asked, "If you had to choose between: a)being a writer who loses the hand you write with or b)being a runner who loses a leg which won you the gold... which would you choose?"]

Well, Candyland, this is obviously a difficult question. So let me apply a little logic (I should mention at this point that according to Myers-Briggs, logic is not my strong suit).

In either situation, my personal passion would be compromised, which, in theory, would be traumatizing. However, I think it would be less traumatizing to be the runner who loses the leg. My reasons are as follows:

-You mention in your question that I've already "won the gold," which seems I may have already achieved the tip-top of my art. A runner expects their physical prowess to decline as they age, while a writer expects their writing to get better as they age. So although the loss would be huge, I believe the opportunity cost would be lower.

-Athletes have tons of adrenaline. Many computer-dwellers (such as myself) have none. Therefore, my athlete-self would probably be able to cope with the situation in a more health manner than my writer-self. I can see my athlete-self determining to overcome my new challenge and super-training with my new prosthetic, going to lots of conferences and speaking out as an awareness advocate for whatever cost me my leg, etc. I see my writer-self eating a lot of cake while watching TV. (What do you think, writer friends? Would you be better than me? You probably are. But I really like cake.)

-In either case--lost hand or lost leg--there are very interesting technologies to help me adapt to my new situation. However, I think the loss of the hand would affect me in more OTHER disciplines of my life besides writing than loss of a leg would besides running. For example, losing a leg would not affect my use of chopsticks. Or a fork. Or a spoon, or a straw.

These are my thoughts. Now, Candyland, I have a question for you. Did you expect me to address your concern in this much detail?

my baby animal picture hook-up

2010-03-05T18:33:00.002-05:00

has been running pretty dry lately.

Any help?

Have a great weekend!

writing in your favorite genre (Your Questions continued)

2010-03-05T08:25:00.004-05:00

[Marquita Sandefur asks, What's your favorite genre? Are you a writer? Do you write in your favorite genre? If no, why not? If so, do you find it difficult to be original since it's your favorite genre?]

Reading: I really like to read fiction that has stood the test of time--this means a lot of classics that might fall in either the literary or commercial categories. I also like to read new books if I know the author, or if someone sends me a review copy (with my reading list, this is about the best I can manage). I try to read a nonfiction book every now and then--I find I'm never in the mood to pick one up, but then if I make myself, I enjoy it about five times more than most novels. I also read some fantasy--I used to read tons, then took a 15-year hiatus, and last year picked up where I left off. Yum epic fantasy.

Writing: Am I a writer? ...Yeah, inevitably. I mean, I think I probably wrote more than 100,000 words on this blog alone last year. I write other stuff, like book reviews and endlessly re-edited novels. Up until now, all my fiction writing has been pretty much straight literary fiction, much like what I mostly read. But as I've been reading more fantasy, I've been thinking a lot to myself, "You know what would make a great premise for a fantasy world? It they just took..." etc. So I might have to branch out.

Re: is writing in genre difficult? So here's the thing I've noticed lately--perhaps because I've been reading too much. It is very rare to find a theme, motif, plot element, or even sentence I haven't seen somewhere else before. This can be a little crippling--every time I have a good idea, I remember that I read a similar idea in [FILL IN A FAMOUS BOOK OF YOUR CHOICE HERE]. It makes me anxious about how much I may be borrowing, how original my ideas are, and whether I should pursue the project. Do other writers have the same problem?

But I think there's one thing writers can control, where they can force themselves to be original: language. It takes more work to think of a fresh way to say something, but it's also more fun that way. I love thinking of inventive ways to say things, even in places like my diary, where I know no one is ever going to read them.

What about you guys? Do you write in the same genre you read? Or not so much?

why are you so busy?

2010-03-04T06:33:00.002-05:00

[Graywave asked: Here's a question, how come you're so busy? Is it because you are really, really inefficient? ;)]

Dear Graywave, you asked in jest, as indicated by the winking smiley you included. But for the sad, inefficient truth I refer you to an earlier source!

why become a book editor? (Your Questions continued)

2010-03-03T08:37:00.002-05:00

The Novelist asks: How did you end up doing what you do? Did you always want to be an editorial assistant? Was there something else you wanted to do and you just ended up where you are? I know that is 3 questions, I am just curious.

It's funny how epiphanies work. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life, and made a series of career accidents basically to fill my time until I graduated from college. I worked in a bookstore for 5 years in high school and college, I worked in my small town library and then in my college library, I took a job as a private editorial assistant for one of the professors in my department who was working on a textbook, and I took an internship at a literary agency (I heard you were supposed to do internships or something). Then, right after graduation, I got called in for an interview for an editorial assistant position. Duh. Why hadn't I thought of that before? There was literally nothing else in the world I was prepared to do for a career, and there was literally nothing else that would have been as awesome for me.

I don't mean to be flippant. This story is kind of true (I mean, I MUST have had a plan, right? I just don't remember what it was). But I feel like I'm supposed to be here. I LOVE editing. I get so excited to work on a project that it doesn't really feel like work a lot of the time.

My mom is still holding onto hope that I'll become a CIA agent, instead. To be honest, if I do, I probably won't let you know ;)

how are multiple book deal advances divided up? (Your Questions continued)

2010-03-02T08:11:00.003-05:00

[Stephanie McGee asked: When a book deal is for multiple books, is the money paid in the deal divided into parts to create an advance for each book? I know that advances are generally divided into parts, with some given at signing and some at publication. I'm just wondering, I guess, if the money in a multi-book deal is divided and divided again per book?]

The boring answer here is "it depends" (which is, of course, true). But I'll tell you a couple of ways I've seen advances divided in the past.

Background info on single-book contracts: as you might know, most single-book advances are divided into two or three installments: for two installments, half on signing of contract, and half on either delivery and acceptance of the final manuscript ("d&a," we call these) or on publication. If it's three installments, it will be a third on signing, a third on d&a, and a third on pub. This is often depending on the total amount of the advance--if it's a small advance, publishers are less anxious about cash flow, and more willing to pay it in two lumps instead of three. Whatever your case may be, these payment schedules are laid down very explicitly in the contract.

Ok, so now, onto multi-book contracts. Generally, the advance will be divided up based on the same inspirations as the above (contract signing, d&a, publication). So here are some examples (that I've seen in my real life).

TWO-BOOK CONTRACT.
1/2 on execution on contract
1/4 on delivery & acceptance of Book 1
1/4 on delivery & acceptance of Book 2

TWO-BOOK CONTRACT.
1/3 on execution of contract
1/3 on delivery & acceptance of Book 1
1/3 on delivery & acceptance of Book 2

TWO-BOOK CONTRACT
1/3 on execution of contract
1/6 on d&a of Book 1
1/6 on publication of Book 1
1/6 on d&a of Book 2
1/6 on publication of Book 2

THREE-BOOK CONTRACT.
1/2 on execution of contract
1/6 on d&a of Book 1
1/6 on d&a of Book 2
1/6 on d&a of Book 3

FIVE-BOOK CONTRACT
1/6 on signing
1/6 on d&a of Book 1
1/6 on d&a of Book 2
1/6 on d&a of Book 3
1/6 on d&a of Book 4
1/6 on d&a of Book 5

Sometimes, the books will have different "values." For example, maybe an author has written a new thriller, but the contract includes a previously published thriller that has gone out of print from another house, and the author's new house is planning on reissuing. Then, you might have something that looks like this:

TWO-BOOK CONTRACT.
1/2 on execution of contract
1/3 on d&a of New Book
1/6 on d&a of Old Book

Agent friends, if you have any other permutations you favor (or crazy ones you've seen), please chip in! I'd love to hear.

just finished reading

2010-03-01T22:24:00.000-05:00

Genghis Khan and the Making of the Modern World, by Jack Weatherford. My review here. Anyone else read it? Any thoughts?

Book Club: Sons & Other Flammable Objects, by Porochista Khakpour

2010-03-01T04:35:00.003-05:00

Hi everybody! Welcome to our March Book Club "meeting." Today we're talking about Sons & Other Flammable Objects, Porochista Khakpour's debut novel, which is published by Grove.

Be sure to check out Undomestic Goddess's interview with Porochista--it's about much more interesting things than my publishing-related questions!

Also, if you're in the mood for a little short fiction, Porochista just published this brand spanking new short story in Guernica.

And now, Editorial Ass's Three Questions for Authors, with Porochista Khakpour:

MR: How did you get your agent?
PK: I had one agent at first who everyone on earth raved about, but he was a truly awful fit for me. I don't know know what happened, but I think I caught him at a bad time--he was completely absent from my world. So I was back to the drawing board, looking for new agents in New York, while being very poor and depressed. It wasn't going too well. Then I met a writer--a pretty well known one--on the street in the East Village one night. We hit it off and began dating. He felt bad for me struggling as I was and so I think he just thought he was doing a cute favor for me by passing on my manuscript to his agent. He hadn't read a word of my writing. But it turned out she really loved it and she is still my agent today.

MR: How did you get your book deal?
PK: A year and a half before my agent sold it, a friend of mine who was quitting his job as an assistant at the publishing house that bought my book, asked me, just for the hell of it, to email him my novel. I had shown him a chapter or two when I was in the process of writing it and he had liked it. But I told him it was nowhere near done, just a very rough draft. He said it was his last day and he wanted to see what would happen if he just tossed it on the desk of a prominent editor there who would likely toss it back into the slush pile, but who maybe, on some off-off-off chance might peek at it. . .I said fine and thought nothing of it. I was a shopgirl at Rodeo Drive at the time and miserable. I suddenly got an email out of nowhere from this prominent editor a week later saying she had been crying and laughing all week, reading it on the subway ride home. She wanted to know how to proceed. I thought it was a joke. In any case, I had no final draft and no agent so I exercised amazing restraint and said I'd have to wait, which she understood. I don't think I even grasped what a big editor she was. Finally, a year and a half later I had an agent and a real draft and we sold it to that same publishing house, a very happy ending.

MR: Are you working on another novel?
PK: Yes! I began it last summer and it is going suspiciously smoothly. Well, at least quickly. But, yes, I am happy to finally say I honestly am.

MR: Thanks so much for dropping by, Porochista! I can't wait to read what's next :)

need some book recs, please

2010-02-27T19:32:00.002-05:00

So I'm almost done reading Jack Weatherford's biography of Genghis Khan (called Genghis Khan and the Making of the Modern World).

That guy's life was so freakin' cool. Plus, the Mongols' "invasion" of (or excursion into) the rest of Asia, the Middle East, and Europe is really interesting in the way it connected worlds and empires for the first time, and offered a kind of mirror of violence for the European Crusades.

Now I want to read more (and more, and more, and more) on a variety of topics this book awakened for me. So does anyone have any recommendations (fiction or nonfiction, or even movies, for that matter) on any of the following topics?

-the Huns
-Central Asia (Uzbekistan, Tajikistan, Bukhara)
-the Silk Road
-medieval Armenia/Georgia
-the Crusades (I've read a bunch, and am always looking for more)
-the medieval Middle East, like the Khwarazem/Persian empire or the Abbasid/Iraqi empire
-medieval Eastern Europe (Hungary, Bulgaria, Czech, Poland)

I like any and all ideas. Thanks!

some of your questions!

2010-02-25T08:15:00.002-05:00

Thanks, everyone who sent in a question! Some of them are longer, and since I'm feeling lazy this week, I'm procrastinating with them. Your answer will probably be coming, eventually, though.

But here are some questions I wasn't too lazy for!

Jamie asks:
Sun or snow?

Sun! No question. I'm practically heliotropic.

Erin McGuire asks:
How often do you get to work with illustrators and designers?

Never with illustrators! Sad. I've done illustrated books, but only with photographs or already created art, never with original art. Maybe someday.

Designers, however, are another story. There's one of those involved in every single original book. I've come to believe that they are, in general, an unusual jovial people. My principle designer and I are bestest friends. He takes me to the theater, and I take him out for Thai food.

Whirlochre asks:
What's inside your dream pie?

A fork. Although I am willing to go without if necessary.

Stephanie McGee asks:
Have you ever gotten food poisoning from sushi?

Nope. I'll keep trying, though. ;)

And, what is the best gift the Rally Monkey ever gave you?

The RM is an extremely utilitarian gift-giver. He knows I hate (HATE!) to shop, and never buy new clothes or shoes for myself. Generally he'll try to fill a wardrobe gap (one HE perceives, that is--I never think I have wardrobe gaps). For Christmas, for example, he bought me a beautiful pair of black Puma sneakers. The birthday before that, he bought me a beautiful pair of brown Puma sneakers. The Valentine's Day before that, he bought me a beautiful pair of black Puma sneakers (the ones the Christmas pair was supposed to replace).

Isn't he sweet?

Well, you know how they say women seek out men who remind them of their fathers? I remember when I was 8 years old trekking with my father into the "city" to J.C. Penny to buy my mother's Christmas gift (at 5 pm on Christmas Eve, of course). We ventured into the Ladies' Intimates area, where my father located the perfect gift--a warm, woolly nightgown with a cow in a dressing gown appliqued on the front. When the wearer turned around, it would be revealed that the tail was also appliqued on the back. Cute. My father selected the blue version of this nightgown for my mother, who appeared moderately delighted by it.

The year I was 9 years old, we snuck out again for Christmas gifts. This year, my father selected the red version of the above nightgown. So you can imagine I wasn't surprised when, the year I was 10, he selected the black version. I remember quite vividly on Christmas morning when we sat down to open presents, my mother said, "I swear to God, [name redacted], if you bought me another cow nightgown I'm going to scream." I don't, however, remember how the incident concluded.

Just... food for thought.

I love when authors become friends

2010-02-24T16:19:00.002-05:00

and think of you to send you important relevant news articles when they come across them, such as this Salon piece on the ultimate Chinatown hand-pulled noodle tour. My personal stand-by is #4, Tasty Hand-Pulled Noodle (I'm a literalist, what can I say) on Doyers.

Aaand I'm hungry.

I got scooped!

2010-02-24T09:57:00.002-05:00

A couple months ago, a dear friend of ours who hangs around these parts (I'm not mentioning any names, but I don't need to, since I'm sure this has happened to more than one of us) read a deal description in Publishers Marketplace that was so close to his/her WIP that s/he went into a tailspin. What was the point of writing anymore? Were two/three/ten years of hard work down the drain?

Naturally, this scenario is stressful. But Aprilynne Pike post this very excellent take on why we shouldn't care quite as much (she also found a really superb illustrative video, which even the Rally Monkey, who has zero interest in writing or publishing books, thought was da bomb).

Let me add my own two cents example. When I first started at Tiny Publishing House, I bought the Most Excellent Book in the World. I knew it was not only going to be a great read, it was going to change the world. I KNEW IT! Four months later, Huge Giant Publishing House bought from Extremely Fancy Agent a much more expensive version of the exact same book. I was infuriated and heartbroken at the same time. I cried and screamed and waved my fists. Then I did everything in my human power to make my book as perfect as possible, because that was really the only element of this scenario I could control. The take-home? Three years later, my book is still in print and getting constantly reviewed on the internet; the author has placed her second book; and most importantly, the reviews of my book were much better. Despite the odds, I win. (Well, my author does. But you know what I mean.)

At the end of the day, no idea is unique. There are too many people in the world. So hold the bar high in terms of the execution you expect from yourself. And may the best book win.

just finished reading

2010-02-23T18:57:00.001-05:00

Herzog, by Saul Bellow. My review here. Anyone else read it? Any thoughts?

book club reminder: Sons & Other Flammable Objects 3/1

2010-02-23T10:55:00.002-05:00

There's still time to join me and Undomestic Goddess for our book club on March 1! We're reading Porochista Khakpour's Sons and Other Flammable Objects.

If you're planning reading even farther out, I'll be hosting a discussion of E.L. Doctorow's Ragtime on April 1.

AWOL

2010-02-22T16:28:00.002-05:00

Hi there,

You may have noticed (eek) posting has been light lately. There are two key reasons:

1) I am so freakin' busy I don't know where I left my head (I spent EIGHT HOURS yesterday, Sunday, finishing a manuscript).

2) I'm a little out of creative juice for new posts.

But I'm bummed to not be blogging as regularly, since, as you know, I'm an addict. Here's where you come in.

I'm stealing a "page" from the delightful blog of Kiersten White, who opens up the floor to questions periodically. So any question that's been nagging you--what my favorite sushi restaurant is, for example, or where I buy my cupcakes--now's your chance. If you'd like, you can also ask publishing questions, if you're not bored of reading about publishing.

As long as your question isn't mean, X-rated, dangerous, or anything to do with which clubs I belonged to in high school (trust me, you don't want to know; it would only make the world a worse place), I will strive to answer them over the course of the next month.

Missing you,

Moonrat

for your Sunday evening viewing pleasure

2010-02-21T11:36:00.002-05:00

Sins of the Mother, the Lifetime movie based on our own Carleen Brice's Orange Mint and Honey, premiers tonight Sunday 2/21) at 8 pm EST. I can't wait to watch. Carleen, I hope you know I wouldn't turn off the Olympics for anything else!

(Thanks, Rejectionist, for reminding me!)

so far

2010-02-19T14:48:00.001-05:00

it is a 2 slices of pie day.

There's still time, however.