Thursday, June 17, 2010

I guess I'm more closely genetically linked to her pet turtle than to her.

Fellow Editor: So I was thinking about this. I have a pet turtle, and every day she eats--well, it's basically lettuce, but it's still bigger than her entire body. Meanwhile, I eat this [brandishing a sandwich], which is smaller than my head, and I feel totally satisfied.

[file under: #problemsidonot have]

12 comments:

Laurel said...

I do not want to be a turtle. All lettuce diet. shudder

Lale said...

Not a problem I have either.

JEM said...

I wonder if we could eat a sandwich bigger than our bodies...and now I want Subway.

B. Nagel said...

I would eat that sandwich JEM. Unless there was mustard involved. That's a line I don't cross.

Tere Kirkland said...

LOL, my turtle eats pellets and the occasional earthworm. I'll stick to my tiny sandwich, thanks.

Chris Wood said...

Turtles are ambitious dietwise. Trying eating the turtle.

_*rachel*_ said...

Speaking of genetic links, I have this hypothesis: Elves, hobbits, dwarves, orcs, humans, gnomes, selkies, and assorted fae and paranormals are all the same species. Humans have allegedly or could theoretically intermarry with elves, dwarves, hobbits, gnomes, selkies, fae, and paranormals, and orcs are allegedly related to elves. There have been cases of elves and dwarves marrying, too, if I'm not mistaken. And in each case, the offspring has been viable. Therefore, they are all the same species.

QED

Jeff Carlson said...

Eat the turtle? Now *there* is a solution to this thorny metaphysical quandary!!! :)

moonrat said...

Rachel, your commitments to science are astounding.

Imogen said...

Surely the right question is not "Could one eat a sandwich bigger than one's own body?" but "Could one eat a lettuce bigger than one's own body?" (which of course begs the question "Could one BREED a lettuce bigger than one's own body?", but that's a whole further nightmare...).

Claire Dawn said...

I don;t think turtles have colons. ;S

pretenses18 said...

I have eaten pizzas bigger than my head in one sitting, and am fairly certain that if there was a peice of lettuce as big as my body, I could eat that in one sitting too. However, one must consider the delicious factor, and therefore I do not think I will ever eat a peice of lettuce that ginormous. Unless the turtle challenges me to a duel.