Friday, February 12, 2010

does every kiss actually begin with Kay? or do more kisses begin with Miller Lite?

My brother's girlfriend sent me the below list of 20 points. It's one of those internet chains, albeit one I've never seen before. There was no provenance attached, so I figure it's ok to post here.

ETA: Beth found the provenance here, at Ruminations.com, which seems to have other funny sayings, too. Thank you!

Happy Weekend!


--
1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

10... Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this -- ever.

15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damn it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

17. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call...

18. My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad/Mom what would happen if you ran over a ninja?" How the do I respond to that?

19. I think the freezer deserves a light as well..

20. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay

42 comments:

Shelley Sly said...

Haha. These are great, and so true! Thanks for posting. :)

Venus Vaughn said...

I'm guilty of #17. In fact, I've assigned a special ringtone to the Do Not Answer people, so I don't accidentally pick it up when I'm otherwise busy.

And yeah #1, I've already told my friend she needs to remove the big bag o' porn from my bedroom upon my death. There are some things Mum just doesn't need to know.

Stephanie McGee said...

#s 5, 7, 17, and 18 are my favorites.

Melanie Avila said...

Ha, I needed that laugh!

I've thought the same thing about the freezer, especially because you're usually getting ice cream late at night WHEN IT'S DARK.

~Jamie said...

HA! I've never seen that one before.

But I agree about the ninja thing...

Rebecca Knight said...

I ask myself that cursive question all the time ;)!

These are great. I hope you and the RM have a happy Valentine's! (Don't forget the Miller Lite.)

Kimberly Kincaid said...

Someone sent this to me last year and I kept it for a while, just for the giggle...

Number one is my favorite. NOT that I have anything to hide ;)

Megalicious said...

Theose are all great but 2,7,9 & 11 are my favorites!!! Thanks for the laugh :)

Rick Daley said...

Awesome, I need the laugh today!

My response to #18: You would then proceed to the car wash.

Pretenses said...

I think I agree with all of them!

lale said...

I started reading from the list, without seeing the introductory paragraph, and had a mild heart attack when I saw the one about the son. 'MOONRAT HAS CHILDREN??" But then I re-read the start. And comprehension dawned on me.

moonrat said...

lale--don't worry; it has not yet been ascertained whether moonrats and monkeys are cross-fertile. i'll let you know if there's ever any further scientific inquiry into the matter.

S.K. Azoulay said...

I think these are probably taken from "Random thoughts from people our age." I've seen 5,12,15, and 18 mentioned in the following blog post about the site:

http://2log.biz/?blog_id=2425

Sarah said...

I've been I-ate-week-old-sushi-sick of Kay commercials. If I hear their jingle one more time...

And yes, we do need a sarcasm font.

Elizabeth Lynd said...

These are great--but I have to say, the first one is sure to create angst and sadness in a hundred years. It's the equivalent of Cassandra Austen's burning all of her sister's letters. WHAT IF WE STILL HAD THOSE TWITTER FILES?

roseduncan said...

I believe I have an answer to every one of these nagging questions. Very funny. And us writers need funny.

lexcade said...

i want a sarcasm font... that'd be awesome.

and whoever thought of those stupid kay commercials should be locked in a tiny room where the only sound is "every kiss begins with kay" on loop.

heck. we could use THAT when interrogating terrorists. then metallica will shut up. for a while.

Donna Gambale said...

Love this list -- excellent choice to post it.

Fitted sheets, sarcasm font, and Blu Ray were great... til I read the one about freezers. That one was amazing.

Jemi Fraser said...

I just woke up my napping hubby because I laughed out loud at these :)

CKHB said...

I could not agree more with #2, 3, 13, and especially 15.

They are working on a sarcasm mark.

Martha Stewart (of course!) can tell you how to fold a fitted sheet.

Answer to #18: if we ran over a ninja, WE WOULD NEVER KNOW because they're so stealthy.

SM Schmidt said...

But I like #6! Cursive is for showing off on whiteboards. It never looked prettier then when dominating a whiteboard in neat tidy scrawl upsetting all who don't wish to read in cursive. Makes worrying about stolen code almost disappear.

Redleg said...

According to my television, every kiss begins when the pronoun he goes to Jared.

Nishant said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Tawna Fenske said...

My favorite is #2:

Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

Amen to that!

Tawna

Laurel said...

Number 11 is my favorite. I read:

You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

And thought:

On those days when the moment strikes as you pull into your parking space/clock in/slide into your cubicle you know it's going to be a fun day.

Beth said...

I have to give credit where credit is due: these all originated from the fantastic website ruminations.com

Heather Snow said...

Oh number 3......so totally true. I would totally dig more naps.

And while yes, the "every kiss begins with Kay" jingle does get annoying, that commercial with the couple where he takes her to all of the spots (first date, etc.) and then to one where she says "I don't remember this one" and he pulls the ring and says "You will". <> ranks right up there with the "Peter, you're home" Folgers commercial...

Have a great weekend.

Jennifer said...

I love #11. That's so me haha. It's usually around 2 o'clock. ;)

Bernita said...

#13 - Word always terrifies me too.I always click "yes" - just in case.
But I do know how to fold a fitted sheet and I didn't need Martha to tell me.

moonrat said...

thanks, Beth! I'll add a link.

Janet Reid said...

there's a new book out How To Do the Things Your Grandma Knew that talks about how to fold a fitted sheet. Yes, I read it so I would know. (please don't tell my mum, she'd be horrified I'd both forgotten how, and been jumbling my fitted sheets for lo, these many years)

And I would buy the software for a sarcasm font!! In a heartbeat!!

storyqueen said...

Yes! The sarcasm font!!

But I'd have to use it sparingly, of course.

Shelley

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annerallen said...

All this wisdom on a Saturday! (except for the spam just above) CKHB, thanks for the links, especially the sarcmark. We needs it!

"Bad decisions make good stories." Brilliant. Maybe all novels are fundamentally about bad decisions?

inthewritemind said...

#5. I still cannot fold one to save my life. Yet my husband can fold them easily.

It normally ends up wadded up out of frustration.

GalaktioNova said...

Aww, thank you so much!!!

#10 is a classic. This is basically the only thing you need to know about writing: that bad decisions make good stories.

THANK YOU!

The Novelist said...

#2, 6, 7 and 8 are my favorites. Also #3 because I sometimes feel like #9! Thanks you made my day!

Chumplet - Sandra Cormier said...

I would probably answer all those questions just to annoy people.

Those are priceless observations. Love it!

Linguista said...

Totally Twinsies!

Jon Sprunk said...

#18 is priceless!

Phaedrus said...

nice write!

Jane Holland said...

#5, oh #5. They seem such a good idea, fitted sheets, until you try to fold those suckers.

But the idea that someone has spent their time perfecting the technique of folding fitted sheets and then posted the secret online for the benefit of all-thumbs people like myself... that's not funny at all. That's actually a little bit scary.