Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Robert the Publisher's Gem of the Day

RtP: So if we tell the accounts we're printing 30,000, that means we're planning on printing 10,000. It's a multiple of 3.

Sales Assistant: So... You just make up a number that's three times higher than your print run?

RtP: Yes. We lie to the sellers, the sellers lie to the accounts, the accounts lie to the consumers, and everyone knows everyone else is lying, so we can't break the habit. The whole publishing industry is based on lies.

Sales Manager: No, Robert. It's not based on lies. It's based on fiction.

24 comments:

Brian F. said...

Heh heh he. It's funny 'cuz it's true.

Bradley Robb said...

Ha! I love great public secrets. Awesome stuff.

Alissa said...

This reminds me of a computer program that I used in an earlier non-publishing related job. It would automatically quadruple the number of attendees we had signed up for events. Now I can only assume that the programmer's previous project had been working with book publishers.

Rebecca Knight said...

O_o. I'd heard this before (I think on this blog), and it made my head explode a little.

Just a little, though ;).

Kim said...

"I wasn't lying! I was writing fiction. With my mouth."

One of the best Bart Simpson quotes ever. And there are so many from which to choose...

Kim Kasch said...

:)

Wasn't it my all time favorite King who said:

Fiction is a lie, and good fiction is the truth inside the lie. - Stephen King.

Laurel said...

This is the funniest thing I've read in a while.

The really insane thing is everyone must be dividing by three already, so what's the point?

Eric said...

So true it hurts. I suppose I should have brought this up on PMN by now.


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Pamala Knight said...

OMG! What would we do without Robert to enlighten us about the nature of man? Read Hobbes? LOLOLOL.

Amalia T. said...

Haha. Awesome.

~Aimee States said...

That...crap...rocks.

JenniferWriter said...

Haha that's fantastic in a mind-bending kind of way. Kim, also loved the Bart Simpson quote.

Laurel said...

Pamela:

If by Hobbes you mean the one of Calvin and Hobbes fame you would be very close to the mark.

Kerry said...

I work at a church university, so I periodically have to have an interview with my local bishop. He always asks, "Are you honest in your dealings with your fellow men?" And I always say, "Uh... I write fiction. So no." They haven't fired me quite yet. ;-)

Pamala Knight said...

Laurel:

I meant the one who said that man is warring and brutish, but then again, that exchange would be perfect coming from Calvin's Hobbes.

LOL.

MitMoi said...

Ha! I could work for them. I am HOPELESS at numbers. I tell my clients ALL.THE.TIME. They (foolish people) do not believe me.

Now it is "on the webinar". There are DOZENS of places where I point to a number and read a COMPLETELY different number. And not just digits mixed up - but entire hundreds, thousands and millions added. *sigh*

I think the worst part is every time I have to explain a calculation I sound SO! SURPRISED! Like, "Man! This math stuff is amazing!" Of course, it's 100% worse - since the entire calculation is ON THE SCREEN IN FRONT OF EVERYONE.

So - really - if you need numbers "adjusted" ... I am your girl/woman.

ps: My w/v is bations ... this is a combination to billions & trillions.

pps: Sorry for the long comment. I am stopping. Now.

The First Carol said...

I want to meet that sales manager - very astute.

Michelle said...

Amusing heheheh

Laurel said...

Pamela:

I was afraid of that. I eschew all Hobbes, Hume, Kant, Descartes, et. al. in favor of Calvin and Hobbes. I do not know why they have not been incorporated into Phi 101 classes everywhere.

magolla said...

*snort*
--coffee flies out the nose, splatters on monitor--
"Ow, ow, ow"!

moonrat said...

Laurel--ME. TOO.

Pamala Knight said...

Laurel and MR: Don't be haters! No need to eschew!

You forgot to mention Schopenhauer because if anyone had a bleak outlook on life in general, it was that dude. That's true of most of the Western philosophers, come to think of it. *giggles*

But I heartily concur that Calvin and Hobbes win hands down when making the ridiculous both funny and perfectly plain. Much like Robert the Publisher.

Kristin Miller said...

Lol. I've read about this phenomenon elsewhere, but only you could make it make sense, teehee.

WV: algineud - better get some clothes on that guy, we don't take kindly to chloro-flashing here!

Peridot Gem said...
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