Monday, April 06, 2009

things the rally monkey says

RM: I hate this grocery store. It's ALWAYS packed! I HATE it here. I want to move to a different neighborhood where you can go shopping after 5 pm or on weekends.

YT: I have an idea. How about I quit my job and become a housewife? Then I'll have time during the day to go shopping when it's not crowded.

RM: Let me tell you how that would work out. You wouldn't make it to the store. You would blog, watch Netflix, and not wear any pants. That's what would happen.

28 comments:

writtenwyrdd said...

ROFL! But is he right?

moonrat said...

i have no comment.

Anita said...

I'm a part-time housewife, and when I'm in a housewife stage, I rarely wear pants. I've reached a whole new level of respect for you, Moonie. And for Rally Monkey, too, because of his perceptiveness.

Brian F said...

Ah, but another way to look at it is he's actually invested time in fantasizing about what life would be like if he could arrange for you to do anything you want and, in that fantasy world, you're doing all your favorite things...pantless.

If that's not love, I don't know what is.

Miriam S.Forster said...

Hey, pants are overrated. *shrug* And Netflix rocks... :-)

nightsmusic said...

ROFL!

No pants, huh? I am said housewife, and I prefer big, fluffy flannel nightgowns and my furry robe. :) The idea is the same though. :P

jimnduncan said...

Well, that just made housewife sound like a pretty sweet job. I like how it also fails to mention anything to do with laundry, cleaning, or cooking.

B. Nagel said...

Hilarious!

For the first year we were married, my wife couldn't find a job. Let me tell you, it's fun to fantasize about, but you get MEGA bored. I think she lost her mind those last two months. We have a lot of cross-stiching and paint by numbers to show for that time-period.

Pantsless loses its allure after about 2 weeks. Especially if your couch is vinyl.

Chris Eldin said...

AHAHAH!
:-)

As a housewife myself, I wish I could say he was wrong...

Pamala Knight said...

LOL! Someone is going to HAVE to let that boy know that speaking the truth when his girl is trying to make a point is a good way to get to the grievous bodily harm I mentioned before. Funny stuff, but he'll have no one to blame but himself when he's on the six o'clock news having been bludgeoned with something heavy and blunt after retorts like that.

HAHAHAHAHA

Heidi C. Vlach said...

Pants are highly overrated.

Dana said...

See the problem with quitting your job is that you then go to the grocery store at the same time as all the other house wives, who usually have children... lots of them. All running and screaming. And if it isn't kids then it's the senior citizens or someone else. It's always busy at the store... always.
Though.. the lack of pants and netflixs are awesome. :)

Crystal Posey said...

Don't you know that THIS is why the pajama momma was created‽ Comfortable, easy to put on pants because the post office got tired of pantless housewives coming to the door.

BuffySquirrel said...

hahahahaha!

When I was a kid, I used to wonder why the shops were open during the day when everyone was at work, and then closed the moment everyone got off work. Who the heck went there?

Whirlochre said...

You quickly learn not to iron with no pants on.

Having said that, it may just be a bloke thing...

JES said...

You left off the part where you thought, OMG he's *right* -- it *would* be a sweet deal...!

I do love these vignettes; I fear that your memoirs might reveal that RM was never more than a sick, sad product of fancy. OTOH, my regard for your fancy will go way up.

Jolie said...

Hell, that's what I'd do. At least for the first week, before I went stir crazy.

I actually did the homebody/housewife thing last summer when I was living with my boyfriend and could only find part-time work. That was some pretty hellacious boredom. I do not recommend it.

PurpleClover said...

Yeah I tried the whole housewife-stay-at-home-mom thing and I've realized it's a lot easier to go back to work and let him quit his job...lol. apparently I need structure because otherwise I procrastinate and he comes home and nothing has changed/gotten done/etc. Well those are his words. ;)

I'm hoping he eats them when the roles shift.

Bre said...

My boyfriend and I have had this exact same conversation. Multiple times.

macaronipants said...

He left out the part about the mindless giggling and the crystal ball.

Dorset Girl said...

Same problem working from home. And living in back of beyond. Left house today to go to dentist. Had not looked in mirror for several days. Caught a glimpse of self in evil window glass: brown boots, brown t-shirt, brown sweater, brown trousers, brown jacket, brown hair. All I needed was a brownie. (And, I was also wearing brown knickers, but luckily no one could see those).

moonrat said...

i would like a brownie.

Charles Gramlich said...

somehow, someway, I have a feeling that RM knows you well.

Anonymous said...

Being a housewife is only idyllic if you do not have children :) I wish I had savored those brief months before our first arrived. Now I can barely keep up, and grocery shopping is a weekly highlight!

Anna Claire said...

I used to work from home, and whenever I'd go to the gym or the store, it was always me and the old people. Retirees as far as the eye could see.

But I'll second the sentiment that it's hellaciously boring after a while. Plus having to go to the office every day is a nice excuse to buy cute clothes, including pants that don't involve drawstrings or elastic.

Irish B said...

Sounds like a plan to me.

I_am_Tulsa said...

Oh gosh, I can't stop laughing! That would totally happen to me!

Ulysses said...

I find it funny that he doesn't mention whether this is a good thing or a bad thing...