Wednesday, July 16, 2008

it is not the severity of the punishment but rather the certainty of it*

I did not wash my dishes on Sunday or Monday night, but instead left them in the sink.

Last night, guess what else was in my sink besides the dishes.

Two days + no dishes=1 roach.


But, as a corollary, as everyone knows,

1 roach=5 roaches.


BOO.

Some things I don't like about New York. Can anyone recommend a place for me where laziness is rewarded? Alternatively, a live-in dishwashing monkey who's looking for a place to stay (and maybe some bugs to snack on)?

*paraphrased from Dadrat's take on capital punishment

15 comments:

ilyakogan said...

Aren't you an insectivore?

Anyway, may I suggest the Bronx Zoo? The cage right next to the Proboscis monkey has long been reserved for Echinosorex gymnura.

Hmm... Crickets for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Yum! They all come in disposable containers, so no dishes...

H. L. Dyer said...

I'm afraid I can't help you. The only dishwashing monkeys I know shun live-in gigs.

Sorry to hear about your unwelcome visitor, though.

R. A. Mare said...

Get the gel and the little black houses from Combat and those little buggers will go away a long time even if you don't do your dishes for more than two days. Really.

Kalynne Pudner said...

It's been said that laziness is rewarded (or at least, accepted) here in the South. But the roaches are a helluva lot bigger, too.

cindy said...

gah, i hate roaches. they fly in taiwan.

perhaps if you lived on a cruise ship? no need to do dishes then?

we used to hear really really loud scurrying sounds under the kitchen sink in our nyc apt. i'd bang on the cabinet door with a pot to get it to be quiet.

i always told the hub if it sounded any louder than that, it'd have to pay rent!

Charles Gramlich said...

The little black houses from combat work.

JES said...

Roaches. The Missus hates them, she does -- and we're in N. Florida, and she's a N. Florida native. (If anyone should have grown acclimated to them by now, it'd be her.)

I second the recommendations from R.A. and Charles on the little black houses. When I lived in VA, they worked great.

Here, the only thing that works anything like completely is putting a pest-control mercenary on retainer. Think John Goodman in "Arachnophobia."

One Joy Crelin said...

Unfortunately, laziness doesn't seem to be rewarded anywhere.
Where I live, for instance, two days + no dishes = 1 mouse.
:(

Of course, it doesn't help that my cat is also lazy.
Sigh. We just can't win, can we...?

(Also, I'm new to your blog. Hi!)

ChrisEldin said...

I realize this is about you and your dishes, but I posted a pic of myself and wanted to tell you before I puke and take it down....

(Hot water kills those buggers.)

Anonymous said...

Come to Portland, OR. No roaches I know of except for the non-insect kind.
Expensive - yes.
Total hippie under-current - yes again.

Dirty dishes or not - it's all good.

Sarahlynn said...

When my husband's family lived in Turkey for a while, they hung wall hangings (think thin Turkish rugs, very docorative) and let a salamander live on the wall behind. The salamander took care of the roaches.

Food for thought.

(sorry)

The Anti-Wife said...

No roach problems here in Seattle. Ah, Paradise!

Alice Kildaire said...

haha,, thanks Moonrat, I just sprayed Dr. Pepper across my desk!

Now I'm going to have to clean it up before I too am punished!

Chumplet said...

My live-in minky (husband) only has to do the dishes once per week, and he leaves them in the sink EVERY TIME! If he misses a shift, he has to do the next day's dishes even if they're assigned to someone else.

I hate it because then the mice have an excuse to party.

We don't have roaches because we live out of the city, but ants like to visit once in a while.

Chumplet said...

I'd like to add that I heard roaches actually prefer a clean environment. Doesn't that suck?