Sunday, May 11, 2008

Dadrat would like to set the record straight.

I'm home for Mother's Day and my father sat me down to talk about certain things.

"Your mother mentioned that you invited her to do a guest post on her blog," he said. Of course my mother has no idea how to find my blog, nor really what a blog is, specifically. "She said that you told her she had a 'fan following' there and wanted to see what people were saying about her."

Naturally, she couldn't find my blog on her own, so she enlisted Dad to help her google "Momrat" (which, according to Dadrat, brought them right here).

"I need you to know there are some major misrepresentations in your account," said Dadrat, who took the opportunity to read all the 'articles.' "I think maybe you weren't accessing sources from both sides of the story."

Most notably: in the locked car incident: "You really botched the facts here. Why would I lock MYSELF out of a car I was driving? What ACTUALLY happened is she wanted to put her purse in the back seat, but the door was iced. While I helpfully got out of the car to chip open the back door for her, she decided to assume that the back door was locked. So she opened the front door, hit the door lock, and closed the front door, all while my keys were still in the running engine. What here was my fault? NOTHING."

In the interest of journalistic integrity, I would like to temper Dadrat's judgment with one minor observation: it was, in fact, Dadrat who MARRIED Momrat. So you COULD in theory argue he is at least slightly at fault for anything that comes to him.

On the calling the police in the middle of the night episode: "Yeah, that was me who had to go down and talk to the policemen. The dogs were barking like crazy."

On my mother's condition: "Actually... That is pretty accurate."

My mother has some commentary, too. On the pecan pie episode: "Hmm. Yeah, that was pretty funny the way it came out, wasn't it?"

Happy Mother's Day!!!


moonrat said...

Uh oh. Momrat says if I start making any money off this blog she wants a cut. (Fortunately I don't.)

Jill Myles said...

Momrat definitely deserves a portion of the proceeds. ;)

Or at least a dedication. *g*

green_knight said...

I am now trying to envision what kind of adverts google would serve on your Momrat posts.

Better not find out, eh?

(Even my verification goes 'hmmm')

Sherri said...

Somehow I have a feeling that my children will be telling stories like this on their own anonymous blogs someday. I only hope the stories are told with as much love as you show here.

Happy Mom's Day!

Colorado Writer said...

Good stuff! Happy Momrat day!

writtenwyrdd said...

Don't tell her about Google Ads or she'll want you to get some, lol.

Your stories are hilarious. I hope Momrat and Dadrat are good sports about all this. Sounds like mostly so.

cindy said...


happy mom's day to momrat
and hurrah to dadrat for
giving us the story straight. =)

Chumplet said...

Happy Momrat Day! And Momsquirrell, and Mompaca, and Mombunny....

Charles Gramlich said...

They took that well.

Bernita said...

Yeah, yeah, so HE says.

Ello said...

Happy Mom's day to Momrat! We seriously love her!

Live@theGrouchoClub said...

I wish I, like you, had sitcom parents. It would be a very gentle, dryly humourous sitcom, but still.

Oh, also...I started a new blog...I'd been absent from the blogosphere for a while and now that I'm back, I wanted to make sure I checked out what good old Moonrat had to say (your blog was always one of my favorites). Please, if you get a chance, check out the new and exciting:

Thirdly, try this: When you type a polysyllabic word into your word processor, even though you, presumably, already know what it means, do a dictionary look-up on'd be surprised at the literal definitions of words we use all the time, and how specific their denotations are. It's another major slew of awesome points for the English language, and it's hell of exciting how precise you can be if you employ diction as the powerful tool it is.

Hope you're well.


Lisa said...

The Moonrat Family Chronicles may have just taken over the Robert the Publisher Gems as my favorite posts. Happy Mother's Day to Momrat!

ChrisEldin said...

Good thing she doesn't know about your t-shirt business on the side! hehehehe!

Happy Mom's Day to you and yours!

Christine J. said...

I love the Momrat stories. . . oh, how I love them! Thanks for keeping them coming.

Precie said...

LOL!!!! Thanks to the Momrat and Dadrat for their clarifications!

And I was going to say what Chris E said--Don't tell them about the t-shirts!

Hope it was a great Momrat's Day!

Heidi the Hick said...

Momrat is AWESOME!

I want to be her when I grow up.

My mom says she doesn't want to show up on my blog at all, yet somehow she's ended up with a few fans of her own. Funny how that happens, eh?

Demon Hunter said...

Too funny. Give Momrat a cut! :*) At least they have a good sense of humor about it.

Tory said...

Hey, Moonrat. How ya doin girlfriend?
Just two quick questions...1) What the heck is polysillabic and 2) Do you think a biograpy is harder to sell than a nonfiction?
Thank you
I love the stories about Momrat and Dadrat. Tell them not to worry, we all love them.
Unfortunately, since Holly has started a blog, I have become fodder for her, just like your parents. It's terrible when your children start writing about you. I was afraid she would name her blog 'Mommy Dearest'! lol
Hugs and Happy Mother's Day

The Trouble With Roy said...

Your post and your link are up: thanks!

The Trouble With Roy said...

I tried posting a comment before thanking you for linking to me, which would then have explained the comment I left about your link. But it didn't work. So here's my word:

"Obambulate" -- to wander around. You and your readers might like:

It's a dictionary of weird words.

Josephine Damian said...

Alert the media! It's official!

Stuart Neville, my Prince of Darkness, and the writer formerly known as "Conduit," has landed an agent - and not just any agent - but literary powerhouse and legend, Nat Sobel.

His agency, Sobel Weber Associates, New York, represents a few scribes you might have heard of: James Ellroy (L.A. Confidential, The Black Dahlia, American Tabloid), Joseph Wambaugh (The Choirboys, The Onion Field, Hollywood Station), Pulitzer winner Richard Russo (Nobody's Fool, Empire Falls, Bridge of Sighs), F.X. Toole (Rope Burns - adapted for the screen as the multi Oscar winning Million Dollar Baby - and Pound for Pound), Robert Jordan (the Wheel of Time series), Tim Dorsey (the Serge Storms series), and many more.

Oh, Nat also loves him some cats. My kind of guy.

And how did Stuart get on the Uber agent’s radar? I’m going to steal a bit of Stuart’s thunder and reveal to my blog peeps that Mr. Sobel scouted him on the Internet. That’s right – a big name agent was scouring the online crime magazines and plucked our man from obscurity. (of course I’ve been singing Stuart’s praises loud and clear since last fall when I first read his work in Agent Nathan’s Bransford’s writing contest). To those of you that don’t believe agents are poking around the world wide web looking for The Next Big Thing – here’s your proof. Here. Is. Your. Proof.

So do stop by and give a big shout out to the literary world’s best and brightest rising star!

*shake my booty*

Having already read Stuarts’s manuscript (it already holds the distinction of being only one of four books I liked well enough to finish this year) GHOSTS OF BELFAST, I can tell you it’s nothing by clover ahead for this blessed son of Northern Ireland.