Friday, February 15, 2008

I know you've been missing some Momrat

My sister (Space Alien) went home for the weekend. This is her story. Names have been changed to protect the ridiculous.

S.A. is walking out of the upstairs bathroom and hears Momrat calling her from the master bedroom (which is on the other side of the house). "Can you bring me my glasses case?!" calls Momrat.

The glasses case is, of course, on a nightstand about 2 feet from where Momrat is reading in bed and about 25 feet away from Spacey, but ya know.

So SA brings Momrat the glasses case, which Momrat proceeds to open. The case creaks as it opens. Momrat snaps it shut. "Did you hear that?" she says.

"Hear what?" says Space Alien.

"This." Momrat opens the case again, and the case creaks again. "That noise. That's the camera."

"What camera?" says Space Alien.

"The CIA bugged my glasses case," says Momrat, without a trace of irony. She creaks it open again and points to a screw that's pointing out. "There's a miniature camera in that screw, and every time I open the case you can here the camera come on."

My mother is two things (besides crazy):

1) A schoolteacher (who I'm sure the CIA have lots of reasons to stalk)
2) Too young to have Alzheimer's or any other degenerative paranoia disease type thingies

Next post, when I have more stamina, I'll tell you about her "condition." That's a good one.

20 comments:

jalexissmith said...

oh dear.

Shameless said...

LOL. I love how you tell these anecdotes! :-)

Precie said...

Oh. my.

Merry Monteleone said...

Tell her to put tinfoil over it... it helps if you fashion the tinfoil into a nifty hat, too :-)

The Anti-Wife said...

So, do you take after Momrat or Dadrat?

cyn said...

haha! think of the stories she can write, tho!! but non-fiction or novels? hmm. 8)

happy weekend, MR!

(i already ask the bubs to fetch things for me, too. ;*)

moonrat said...

TAW--i look just like one, but i act just like the other. i'll leave it to your imagination.

ChristineEldin said...

LOL!!!
But as they say, just because you're paranoid doesn't mean somebody isn't watching you.
:-)

(I sent you an email about BookBook)

Sarah Hina said...

These days, you never know...

Charles Gramlich said...

OK, that's pretty odd.

Editorial Anonymous said...

It's coming from this background that allows you to put up with Robert the Publisher, isn't it. I just don't have the tolerance for crazy that you must have.

Ello said...

She is too hysterical! But you know schoolteachers are a danger to society! Gotta keep our eyes on them!

moonrat said...

EA--you make an extremely interesting point.

next question--do crazies just tend to gravitate toward me? or does having me in their life make them crazy?

homeinkabul said...

I think we are related. My mom makes me get stuff that is right beside her.

Sigh.

We have no bugs in the glass case...yet

writtenwyrdd said...

That's a good one. Can't wait for the rest of it.

word veri: iboat, or the newest thingie coming to you from apple. I think it lets you surf the 'net *snicker*

Ello said...

My mom is crazy. I think she would give your Mom a run for her money. Plus my mom is a republican. So that makes her especially dangerous.

Bernita said...

Why doesn't she just remove the screw and flush it down the toilet?
Does she like being watched?

moonrat said...

Bernita--why has no one else asked that yet? Hmm. I'll be in touch with her and get back to you.

Space Alien said...

Bernita, unfortuately, our momrat not only would never think of that, but she'd also not have the patience to actually execute it if she had.

Moony, I'm amazed that you haven't written anything about her condition! And, ps, you really don't act completely like one of them. ;) Not any more than me.

moonrat said...

sigh. i definitely used the wrong "here" toward the end of this post.

this is why i sometimes question my calling.