Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Robert the Publisher's Email of the Day

(which was illicitly forwarded to me but was too too great to pass up; please keep in mind this was addressed to our marketing manager, not to, say, an IT department or anything)

Dear XXXXX:

Can you do me a personal service today or tomorrow? It will probably take you 15 minutes to show me (and then write down what I have to do when I'm gone) how to turn on my television set downstairs [at his house]. I have not mastered this, but I know it's within my range of competence if I am instructed. Sometimes I just hit 8 million buttons and sometimes it works.

There are too many buttons on our machines and remotes. Someday somebody--maybe you--will make a fortune by inventing a remote that has on/off, channel up/down, volume up/down and perhaps Mute. I don't think 99% of the people in America require more.

Do you know that to operate my car radio, I have to lie down on the ground and put my glasses on since no one can read the buttons from the driver's seat (even with the glasses on) because instead of printing black on white, they print grey on darker grey, something that is very nice in the world of design but makes it impossible to sit upright.

--Robert

7 comments:

jalexissmith said...

in his defense, sometimes tvs are hard to figure out.... and he did say that it was a personal favor....

Jill Myles said...

Wow, he is special.

Very, very special. How can you look him in the eye and not laugh? Srsly?

moonrat said...

yeah, and now i "personally" put his personal request up on my blog. oops.

the reason i'm not more contrite is because i know EXACTLY WHAT HE MEANS. why the heck DO i need three remotes to turn my tv on?!??!? WHY?!?!

Froog said...

Robert is my hero!!

I have long been contemplating a rant about this on my own blog.

It's always a particular problem when I visit friends in America - god alone knows why you need a separate remote for your cable box, your DVD player, and your TV.... and why if you inadvertently press one wrong button on one of them, everything goes to shit.

At least Robert is not having to grapple with the infinitely more refined torture of having to negotiate a DVD remote control - or, worse, the air-conditioner remote control - where all the buttons are labelled in Chinese.

angelle said...

ah the joys of not having cable and having an old fashioned tv with bunny ears...

Ello said...

I love Robert. I want to marry him.

Bernita said...

I totally sympathize with Robert.
Totally.