Saturday, October 06, 2007

my mom is a tyrant.

You all remember Momrat. She, like Robert, is not fictional. Please ask people who have met her for eye-witness testimony. From forth her fatal loins did I emerge etc.

But anyway. She hath inflicted cruel punishments upon my modest soul. These are the things she did today:

-dragged me out of bed at 7:47 am
-made me drink a whole cup of coffee with only a drop of milk in it
-mocked me mercilessly when I sneakily ADDED milk to my second cup
-schlepped me to the country fair
-made me eat a snowcone--turns out, she pressed it upon me because she thought I wanted it; I agreed to share it with her because I thought SHE wanted it. You know how these things go.
-dragged me to five (5) tag sales
-brainwashed me into purchase for four (4) bucks 4 teflon pans (it's possible that her will simply temporarily took possession of my body)(is that how you spell teflon?)
-packed me a 50s-style picnic lunch with a P&P loaf ciabatta sandwich
-took me to the dog park with the Babies and then made me run around with them because they were too scared (dumb dogs) to leave her side the whole time and then made me pick up their poo
-turned on the hose and made me give above-mentioned dogs an outdoor bath. A good time was had by all. Except me. And the dogs. And definitely definitely not the hose.
-sneakily folded all my clean socks (yeah, I took laundry home... it's a long story... yeah, I know I'm not a college kid)
-got me drunk on a bottle of wine

Next step probably involves ice cream.

I wish we never ever had to grow up.

6 comments:

Church Lady said...

You could make her read your slush pile. Then call it even.

P.S. I love the porn you have hidden throughout your pages. Minister Bob lacks in certain areas...

x@y said...

The bottle of wine doesn’t sound so bad, just depends on what you or she reveals when tongues are loosened?!

cyn said...

aww, momrat rocks! =)
it's nice to get away from
the city life.

Ello said...

Momrat is awesome! And how smart is she? Does your laundry and you get to pick up dog poo. I say that's a pretty fair trade!!

writtenwyrdd said...

Momrat sounds cool. Especially a momrat who gets you drunk.

Mine cooks me dinner and cleans the house. I come home to dinner and feel like Mr. Cleaver. (She lives with me since she retired.) I'm sure all this cooking and cleaning and looking after me is part of her evil plan to get revenge for all the grey hair I gave her while growing up!

Alice Kildaire said...

at least she got your drunk! what a good Momrat!