Saturday, October 13, 2007

adventures in housecleaning

Oh, so you think you want to live in New York? I'll help you reconcile yourself with wherever you live now. Keep reading.

So you'll all remember our various Filipino adventures and the fact of some exciting extended family members with some unusual, erm, quirks.

Anyway, suffice it to say there is an Event in my apartment tomorrow that will include the reconciliation of two sisters who have not spoken in 7 years!! Also present will be various in-laws, fiances, baby daddies, babies, and closet homosexuals (although they were comfortable enough to give us this lamp, but not comfortable enough to admit they are not just roommates? Oh it is a difficult world at times.).

Aforementioned lamp:

The rally monkey informs me that "baby daddies" is not a socially accurate term for these people who are coming over and that instead I should say "domestic partners" but honestly I feel this is MY blog and I can misrepresent things as I choose. Moving on.

Here is the rally monkey being a total dictator.

So there was some major cleaning that was tyrannically forced upon me by the rally monkey, who is a big geek and took before and after pictures of all the rooms.

An example, the "library" before and after:

Just so you get an idea.

Alas, while I was cleaning out my closet (in aforementioned library) which now, by the way, looks like this

I began to sniff. Hmm, thought I to myself, what could be that absolutely appalling smell coming from my closet? Yes, we all know I have laundry problems, but this was a profound stench that I wasn't QUITE sure I could make from my own smelly feet. So I rooted around, elbow-deep in the closet, looking for the culprit, when I came forth with this:

I TOUCHED it with my HAND.

So for anyone who REALLY misses city life. Fnn. I think I need a cat.


Church Lady said...


Maybe a *spider* bit it and killed it dead like that. Just saying is all. Maybe not.

I could seriously be your roommate with the before pictures, not the after! :-)

Kaytie M. Lee said...

Gah! Ew! I'm shaking out my hands in distress/disgust in sympathy.

jalexissmith said...

oh... my.... gosh....

clean and disinfect before i come next weekend.


Ello said...

I'm rodent phobic! I didn't ever deal with rodent problems when I lived in NY, but when I lived in Brooklyn we had a bad period of serious cockroach infestation that made me seriously demented. I think my perfume of choice for a whole month was Raid. WE finally discovered the problem, some apartment on our floor apparently was leaving in appalling filth and had like 40 people squeezed into a 2 bedroom. The coop board finally got them out for health violations (they were renters) and the infestation disappeared. So sorry about the dead mouse. So sorry you touched it. But I can't believe you actually took a picture of it too! That part is hysterical!

cyn said...

omg, i just read your filipino restaurant blog and was laughing out loud ! you have quite the ear for dialogue MR. and i *just* discovered avocado milkshakes at the local chinese market. it's available at a little vietnamese stand. such yummy avocado goodness!

and why did you touch the dead rat, moon rat? why?

Alice Kildaire said...

ew!! There is no smell quite as bad as the parfume de dead mouse! I tracked one down behind my fridge one day and was thoroughly disgusted when I realized it had gotten caught in the fan.

Froog said...

If the stink of your overdue laundry is powerful enough to kill mice.... you don't need a cat.

Precie said...

Oh! Oh! NOOOOO! That's not right.

And thanks for those links to your previous posts! Priceless. And considering my own Filipino family, I have no doubts about the authenticity of those posts! ;)

Maria said...

Ugh. I was once visiting my sister's farmhouse in Iowa and thought that the basement bedroom where I was staying smelled sort of..rank. I was sitting on the sofa and absentmindedly tucked my hand into one of the cushions...and yeah, you guessed it...came upon a partially decayed mouse.

I think my screams woke up the snakes in the cornfield.

angelle said...

i hope you lysoled your hand.

moonrat said...

froog: i get enough of that from the rally monkey. i DONT need it from you.

precie: i CANT FIND YOUR BLOG because there's no backlink on your profile. you should fix that to ease my e-stalking.

Tory said...

One time I had a bucket of water in the basement from cleaning a few days earlier. I knew there was a wash rag in the bucket so I fished for it before emptying the bucket. You guessed it..I grabbed the rag and yanked it out only to realize it was a dead, soggy mouse. I screamed loud enough to wake the dead!!
Have fun at your event.
Take care

Conduit said...

Hmm. I was eating breakfast when I got to the dead mouse part. Now I am not eating breakfast. Now I am putting breakfast in the bin.

Thanks for that.

David L. McAfee said...

I'm glad Froog said it first (laundry issues killing mice). I admit I was thinkin' it, though. :)

I think it's contagious. I woke up this morning, went downstairs, and there in the middle of my living room was a small dead...something. I thought it was a mouse, but it looked more like a shrew. I still dunno what it was.

Cat musta got it. Good kitty. Mrs. McAfee would flip if she saw something like that running around the house.

Bernita said...

Ha! Your "before" office looks like mine - and I don't live in New York.
The case of the dessicated rodent can occur everywhere too. I've met a country mouse in my time.
That's a nice lamp, btw.

moonrat said...

thanks. "nice" is certainly one word ;)

Precie said...

moonrat--LOL! Yeah, my blog isn't "public," mainly because I don't want it to be google-able by just anyone with access to the Internet.

So only a select few know it exists...or find it from other blogs I enjoy and give my blog address to! :)

Writer at Work

x@y said...

wow, gross! Why touch it! And boy do they stink when dead.

I think your next task MUST be to find the hole and block it. Wire wool is good but mostly its helps if they cant see the light ie it doesnt look like theres a hole to come through.

Yuck, I HATE rats.