Thursday, September 20, 2007

drunken blogging pact.

Angelle and I are both home and drinking alone. We have made a pact to drunkenly blog together. This is most excellent use of my time because I have a manuscript I was supposed to finish. So now let me tipple a bit and then I'll be right back with some updates about my week that I haven't had time to post!

In the interest of full disclosure, I am drinking a $5 bottle of Gato Negro cabernet that I opened on Friday night of last week and which has been in my REFRIGERATOR to keep it marginally drinkable. Cold, cheap, old red wine. Yumm.

My lunch yesterday at Boro Park was awesome. Not only was my author amazing--and have I mentioned her edible baby? Who had so much hair it looked like she was wearing an oversize and undergroomed curly brown wig?--but I got to see the orthodox/hasidic capital of the world. "I was going to tell you I'll be pushing a stroller," my author (whom I had only spoken to on the phone before yesterday) warned me, "but then I realized everyone was going to have one. So I'll be the one without the wig." It was true--every single person I saw was wearing an ankle-length long-sleeved black dress, a brown wig, and flat black shoes, and was pushing a baby carriage, pregnantly. Every single person. There was even a time when we were at a sidewalk corner and there came about a junction of 5 different baby carriages. A veritable traffic jam.

Last night I went to an apartment on Park Avenue where one of our authors was having a signing party. I think the marketer, who was there with me and the publicist, expressed my feelings more accurately than I ever could: "When we came out of the elevator and walked in, I thought to myself, wow. This place is spectacular. Look at the marble! The chestnut! The decor and furnishings! I gotta admit, it isn't quite as swanky as I thought it was going to be, but hey! This place is SO nice. That's when I realized we were in the servants' quarters." Yeah. Surreal. I don't really have a lot else to say on the topic. Except I saw a black American Express card for the first time. It was so thick our crappy old credit card machines couldn't read it. Hum.

Robert is a meanypants. He has said three (3) incredibly mean things to me this week and once reduced me to tears in a production meeting for no good reason. And the worst thing is he didn't even mean it!! He tried to recant after the crying incident by coming to my office and making jokes. And then he recanted his original stance. Boo. So he couldn't even stick by his initial complaints?! Sigh. I wish he were in a better mood this week.

My favorite TV show in the world at the moment is TWO AND A HALF MEN. It's so funny. I've never laughed this hard at anything. Every single thing everyone says is funny. There's no unfunny time in between jokes. It's magical.

Despite Robert's crankiness, I love my job and my authors. I have some really awesome new authors on our Spring list. I always think about that thing that random guy said to me that time, that "other people should be so lucky" as to do for a living what they would do all day if they didn't have to work.

I sent my evil ex-boyfriend an email to let him know Robert Jordan had died, since (yes, this is true, aren't you lucky I've been drinking; actually I typed this part sober, but I'm a flagrant masochistic exhibitionist) the first time we flirted we discovered we had that dirty teenage secret in common. He didn't reply. He's a jackass. Have I mentioned? Four years later, still a jackass. On the other hand, why did I email him? I don't really know. Sigh.

I am a lightweight. I haven't even had half a bottle. Woo. Maybe I should have eaten dinner...?

Those are my thoughts.


angelle said...

you know. we are presenting ourselves as such losers. we drink at home. we blog all day. we read a lot. everyone is going to think we don't know how to socialize with real people in real life! everyone is going to think we are big awful nerds who stammer! WE MUST PROTECT OUR REPUTATION!

... wait a sec.....

moonrat said...

hello!! i don't stammer!! not unless i'm really nervous. i only lithp.