Saturday, July 07, 2007

It's Nature Day in West Bumcheek, Connecticut

Yes it is. This is why I come to visit my parents.

First, at around 10 am the Jehovah's Witness lady rang the doorbell. "I'm here with an invitation," she said. "An invitation for the entire family to open your heart to the Christ."

"You should talk to my mother," I said.

"Also," she said, "we were admiring your beautiful garter snake."

"Which one?"

"The one on your walk down there." She held her Jesus pamphlets three feet apart. "It's this long."

"Then you should REALLY talk to my mother," I told her cunningly. Heh heh heh.

After mother's anticipated flip-out, the Witness, my father, and myself clotted around the bee balm and tried to catch the snake, who was, well, snakelike and highly elusive. We'd catch a tail, he'd slip away (sinuously). Finally it was the Witness who darted her hand into the bushes as cunningly as Tom Hanks spears that fish in CASTAWAY and came up with the whole snake.

My dad proudly wrestled the fellow into compliance. He was very beautiful, sleek and black with nice yellow stripes lengthwise and a graceful red tongue. We put him in a box and Dad walked him far away into the woods where my mother wouldn't feel obliged to kill him.

Then my mother, to recover from her terrible ordeal, had to go out tagsaling. (Of course I had to come, too. Crikey.) On the way home, we saw what looked like a giant black caterpillar trying to cross the road. I was dispatched to save it as soccer moms in SUVs whizzed by.

It turned out to be a mole, the sweetest little thing ever. It was blind (as moles are), and kept getting confused about which way it needed to go to cross. I tried to encourage it in one direction, but it became nervous and froze. At first I was afraid to pick it up because I thought it would bite, but it didn't even try. It was so soft and sweet. I feel bad, because I flung it off the road with more force than turned out to be necessary. So sweet. Really really funny looking, though. Have you ever seen a mole? Man, it was weird. But cute.


Live@theGrouchoClub said...

We had a mole in the backyard a few weeks ago. I followed it around for a while out of curiousity bacause I'd never run into one before. It turns out moles lead dull lives. But they are cute like you said. Also: You said that I reminded you of yourself, I was wondering why that was.

jalexissmith said...

I HATE SNAKES!!!!!!!!!!!

angelle said...

i thought there was going to be some biblical metaphor here. you know. crazy jesus cult lady comes to your door and finds a serpent in front of your house. what does THAT say about your family to her? hardy har har.... i find meaning in everything.

moonrat said...

hahahahahaha. thank you for pointing that out. it would have been a shame if no one did.