Thursday, February 15, 2007

Yesterday was not Valentine's Day.

Bluenana has put forth that yesterday was not Valentine's Day. She provided a number of good reasons, and I am here declaring a variety of overlapping reasons of my own.

Yesterday was not Valentine's Day, but instead the day

1) that was supposed to have been a snow day
2) that it was 1 degree below zero if one counts the enigmatic wind-chill factor
3) on which one would be caused physical harm trying to venture out of one's Soho office for even a moment to so much as buy a card to send to one's mother
4) that the Prince Street door of Kate's Paperie was locked, causing one to walk through the blinding sleet all the way to the Broadway entrance. Boo.
5) that I woke up at 3 in the morning with an upset tummy and was unable to fall back asleep, thus resulting in my passing out unceremoniously in front of the TV at 8:30 pm (very romantic)
6) that it was so cold and windy in Harlem that my roses froze and died on the way to the subway station, and needed to be clandestinely thrown out on the way to work this morning
7) that it was so cold I didn't even have enough feeling in my feet to realize they were soaking wet (damned boots), so I was walking around all day asking people "eww, what's that smell?" only to find out in the evening the smell was, in fact, my socks (a smarter or more awake person might have put two and two together)
8) that a florist burnt to the ground in Brooklyn (according to Fox news). If that's not a karmic reason to cancel I can't think of one.
9) that the waitstaff at Swish--Melanie's and my "favorite" Upper West Side shabu-shabu joint--were even bitchier than usual. I mean, a certain degree of bitchiness and inattentiveness is to be expected--Swish is the only place I've actually dined and dashed, but honestly, if anywhere makes you wait 45 minutes for a check it seems like they don't WANT you to pay for dinner--but seriously, on Valentine's Day? They refused to seat us despite all the empty booths because we were only a party of two. Instead we had to stand in the windy entrance way for 20 minutes while we waited for one of the 2-person tables to open up. Naturally our entrees were delivered 20 minutes apart, and the check was set down in front of us before the second entree had arrived. Oh well.


So although I was neither sat on by a 300-pound man nor elbowed in the face at the bus stop, I am seconding Bluenana's motions that

a) yesterday was in fact NOT Valentine's Day
b) Valentine's Day is hereby rescheduled for President's Day

3 comments:

jalexissmith said...

Well in Japan Valentine's Day is a day where all of the women give chocolate to all of the men in a company (or in life, really). Really, the people below are supposed to give it to the people above but in Japan that really equates to women giving it to men. The most chocolate you get, the more important you are. One of my students asked me if I was going to give him chocolate. So I asked him if he was going to give me chocolate. I got no chocolate.

jalexissmith said...

Oh, and your weather does sound unpleasant. However, I would like to submit that Kanazawa weather was equally as unpleasant yesterday as I walked 20 minutes in the pouring down ice cubed sizes hail that was being blown so hard it was going sideways right into my face. A) It really hurt. B) If I opened my mouth I got a mouth full of ice. YUCK!

moonrat said...

the japanese valentine's arrangement is so mixed up. blech.